O tym, jak bardzo razem jesteśmy w ciąży

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„Jesteśmy w ciąży” mówi się często. Ja też w ciąży z Dawidem mówiłam, że jesteśmy. D. potakiwał, ale chyba za bardzo wcale nie był. Bo nie musiał. Ciąża, kiedy nie masz jeszcze dziecka, o ile przebiega bez komplikacji, jest po prostu na tyle łatwa, że w zasadzie możesz sobie chodzić w niej sama. Ciąża, kiedy masz już dziecko, zwłaszcza małe, nawet jeżeli przebiega bez komplikacji, jest na tyle trudna, że musisz zaangażować w nią również pana ojca.

Kolejny raz muszę zaznaczyć, że samo bycie w ciąży jest super, naprawdę, cieszy mnie bardzo, jednak ulubiony moment w życiu to to dla mnie nie jest. Ja całą ciążę się martwię, nie czuję się jak rusałka z brzuszkiem na chmurce i bywam nieznośna. Pod koniec poprzedniej ciąży co wieczór jęczałam, bo kiedy spadną na Ciebie wszystkie najobrzydliwsze ciążowe dolegliwości, to jęczysz wieczorem do męża w łóżku, bo to pomaga. Wtedy wydawało mi się, że źle znoszę ciążę, lecz dopiero ciąża, w której jestem teraz udowodniła mi, że wtedy czułam się świetnie. Teraz to dopiero była jazda bez trzymanki. Od 9 do 12 tygodnia, codziennie, od pobudki do późnego wieczora, umierałam. Do tej pory nie wiedziałam, co to mdłości i co to senność. Ból głowy od mdłości, ból wszystkiego od wszystkiego, masakra. I to wszystko jest OK, naprawdę, bo kiedy widzisz tego skaczącego ludka na monitorze USG, to wiesz, po co to wszystko i za co to wszystko. Tyle że rano, kiedy otworzysz oczy, wita Cię Twój pierwszy skaczący ludek. Po łóżku skaczący, po brzuchu skaczący i czekający, aż odpowiesz uśmiechem na jego uśmiech i zapomnisz o tym, że jest Ci źle, bo przecież on tu jest i BĄDŹ DLA MNIE MAMO.

I tu pojawia się pole do popisu dla taty. Mój D. w tygodniu jest poza domem około 12 godzin dziennie. Kiedy budzimy się z Dawidem, już go nie ma, i tak czekamy na niego do około 19:00. Kiedy tato wraca do domu jest szał, szczęście i ogólny zachwyt, zarówno ze strony Dawida, jak i mojej. Mój syn, kiedy widzi ojca, krzyczy głośne „tatuuuu” i biegnie z wyciągniętymi rączkami w oczekiwaniu na serie podrzuceń pod sufit i inne samoloty. I ten mój D., ten, który wkurza mnie czasem tak, że nie mogę na niego patrzeć, który zostawia wszędzie rzeczy i zapomina o wszystkich ważnych rocznicach, wyciąga swoje ręce, zmęczone po naprawdę ciężkim dniu pracy i podrzuca, a w między czasie pyta mnie, jak minął dzień i jak się czuję. Bo widział, jak było źle i jak błagalnym tonem mówiłam mu przez telefon przez jakiś czas, żeby w miarę możliwości wrócił do domu wcześniej, bo już nie daję rady, a on nie mógł, ale się przejmował.

To nie jest tak, że się czuję biedna i nieszczęśliwa. Nie. Ja mam szczęście, ogromne. Po prostu nie spodziewałam się, że będę się aż tak źle czuła i w pewnym momencie przestraszyłam się, że nie dam sobie rady i że cierpi na tym Dawid. D. naprawdę stanął na wysokości zadania. W tygodniu pomóc mi nie mógł, bo go nie było. Wieczorem, kiedy wracał do domu, chciał się zająć małym, ale wieczory u nas są mamusiowo synkowe. Dawid, jeżeli jestem w domu, po 20:00 nie widzi już nikogo innego. Mama przytula, mama śpiewa, mama całuje, mama usypia. Od poniedziałku do piątku, z trochę zaciśniętymi zębami, co by przy tych mdłościach nie zwymiotować, starałam się robić tak, żeby Dawid nie czuł, że coś się zmieniło. Odczuł na pewno, bo cierpliwość moja już nie taka, spacery zrobiły się krótsze, a do łask nagle wróciły słoiczki, bo nie zawsze mogłam ugotować obiad. Ale to  nie tragedia przecież, bo miłość dostaje tą samą. Weekendy wyglądają na szczęście zupełnie inaczej, bo D. co tydzień zabiera gdzieś syna i znikają, na 9-10 godzin. Niebo, taki facet to niebo w takiej sytuacji.

Bo w tej ciąży chodzimy razem. D. odczuwa ją tak samo jak ja, i tak samo jak Dawid. Znoszą to dzielnie, bo to super chłopaki są. Widzę ogromną różnicę między tą, a poprzednią ciążą. Właśnie ze względu na Dawida. Półtora roku temu, kiedy źle się czułam, największym problemem było to, gdzie zamówić obiad. Byłam na zwolnieniu, jak mnie mdliło, to starałam się to przespać, jak mnie coś bolało, to mogłam usiąść i odpocząć. W domu miałam wszystko ogarnięte (nie wliczając okresu remontu) i ogólnie miałam sporo czasu. Teraz jest inaczej.

Właśnie zaczęłam 16 tydzień ciąży. Dolegliwości minęły, czasem mnie mdli, ale bez tragedii, da się żyć. Wróciła rwa kulszowa, ukochana, ale to też jest do zniesienia, bo najgorzej jest wieczorem, a wtedy Dawid już śpi, a w domu jest D. Teraz, kiedy dostałam przypływ energii i robię rzeczy, o które bym siebie nie podejrzewała, że będzie mi się chciało, rekompensuję mojej rodzinie ostatnie tygodnie. Już mam siłę, żeby wygłupiać się z Dawidem, kiedy on tego potrzebuje, a zrobienie jego ukochanych klopsów przestało być problemem. Jest dobrze.

Dzisiaj chłopcy w górach, a ja od rana działałam. W domu lśni, wpis na blog się napisał, a na moje górskie trolle czeka ciasto drożdżowe z agrestem. Ile potrwa ten błogi stan? Nie wiem, nie zastanawiam się, korzystam. I oni też korzystają. Ważne, żeby w tej całej ciąży i w tym, jak się czujesz, być uczciwą i swojego stanu nie wykorzystywać. Bo kobieta zawsze może powiedzieć, że czuje się źle, a facet jej w żaden sposób kłamstwa nie udowodni. W zgodzie więc z własnym sumieniem, chodzę w tej ciąży jak najdzielniej, chociaż nie zawsze mi to wychodzi. Dzisiaj wyszło i cieszę się, bo jeszcze przyjdzie dzień, kiedy nie wyjdzie i wtedy wspomnienie ciasta, które upiekłam, może poprawi samopoczucie i zagłuszy wyrzuty, że kogoś zaniedbuję. Przed nami same zmiany i odczujemy je wszyscy, razem. Dlatego cieszę się, że tak dobrze nam idzie to razem chodzenie w ciąży i mimo, że pojawiają się zgrzyty i nie zawsze jest kolorowo, uważam, że ten test na razie mamy zdany. I jestem z nas dumna!

PS: Razem z radosnym przypływem energii, w drugim trymestrze przyszła również w końcu ochota na seks. „Po co seks?” – zapytacie – „Przecież już jesteś w ciąży!” 😉 Nie wiem, jakoś tak mi się chce i już. Więc lecę dzisiaj przed górską wyprawą do D. i mu mówię, że ja go normalnie tak, i tak, i jeszcze inaczej i że zrobię, co zechce, taka jestem seksownie napalona, a on mi na to: „TO JUŻ IDŹ ROBIĆ TE KOTLETY”. Taaaaaak, kotlety, więc poszłam, zrobiłam, usmażyłam i tyle zostało z mojego spontanicznego, seksownego uniesienia.  Story of my life! 😆

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  71. of course like your web-site however you need to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the reality then again I’ll definitely come again again.

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