Wakacje z dzieckiem

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Wracam po wakacjach. Krótkich, intensywnych, innych niż wszystkie dotychczasowe. Wakacje z paromiesięcznym dzieckiem, kiedy jedziesz z nastawieniem, że odpoczniesz i faktycznie ci się to udaje, ponieważ słowo „odpoczynek” w Twoim słowniku już dawno zmieniło znaczenie. Więc wracam, po wakacjach, z nową energią, z nowymi pomysłami i z powakacyjnym nastawieniem. Witam WSZYSTKICH.

Plan wakacyjny wykonany w 100%. Bieszczady, czyt. połoniny, czyt. wdrapanie się i zejście, czyt. obrzydliwa kawa w schronisku na górze + oczywiście zachwyt nad widokami – zaliczone. Solina ze wszystkimi jej fajnościami – zaliczona. Pierwsze w tym roku pływanie – zaliczone. Gofry z milionem kalorii – zaliczone. Pokazanie się publicznie w stroju kąpielowym, takim dwuczęściowym, w sensie, że brzuch po ciąży i pozbycie się krępacji – zaliczone. No i najważniejsze – pokazanie Dawidowi pierwszego kawałka pięknego Świata – zaliczone.

Zdecydowaliśmy się na wakacje w Polsce. Wszystko dopisało – pogoda, miejsce, ludzie. Nagle zdaliśmy sobie sprawę, jak wiele dookoła jest rodziców z małymi dziećmi. Teraz pytanie, czy wcześniej też ich tyle było, czy po prostu teraz zwracamy na to uwagę. Dziennie, niezależnie od miejsca i tego, co robiliśmy, rozmawialiśmy z przynajmniej czterema zupełnie obcymi parami, i tak naprawdę ciężko było te rozmowy skończyć, bo nagle się okazuje, że ekscytują nas te same rzeczy. Wiecie, pieluchy, spanie w nocy, nie spanie w nocy, wypadające po ciąży włosy, ząbkowanie i cała gama zachwytu nad dziećmi, które niezainteresowane naszymi ożywionymi rozmowami, po pewnym czasie okazywały zniecierpliwienie i przerywały te radosne konwersacje ostentacyjnym jęczeniem, lub po prostu głośnym krzykiem. Nigdy nie przyszłoby mi do głowy, będąc gdzieś z D., by zagadywać do obcych par. Sprawa wygląda inaczej, gdy taka obca para ma dziecko w wieku zbliżonym do twojego dziecka – no i właśnie wtedy te pieluchy, spanie, nie spanie i tak dalej. Tematy ludzi zbliżające.

Mój odpoczynek podczas urlopu polegał na tym, że D. spędzał ze mną i Dawidem praktycznie cały czas, co normalnie nie jest możliwe. Niby nie odpoczniesz tak do końca, niby nie poleżysz zbyt długo, nie usiądziesz na balkonie zaopatrzona w dużego drinka z parasolką, mając wszystko w głębokim poważaniu, a jednak odpoczywasz. Bo nie każda pielucha jest zmieniana przez ciebie, bo nie każdy płacz powoduje obciążenie twoich rąk i nie wszystko robisz w pojedynkę. Coś pięknego. Co więcej, te gorsze ulewki i obrzydliwsze fekalne popisy twojego dziecka możesz odstępować partnerowi, bo przecież niech ćwiczy, ty masz to na co dzień, przecież dla niego to też odskocznia od normalnych obowiązków. Może nie taka, jakiej by sobie życzył, ale jednak odskocznia.

Ten urlop to był właśnie czas bardzo potrzebny D. i Dawidowi. Tydzień spędzony z synem, tak każdego dnia od rana do wieczora, bardzo ich zbliżył. Nie wiem, kto przeżył większy skok w tej relacji, Dawid, który teraz widząc ojca swego wierzga jak koń i wydaje z siebie piski radości, które przerywa dopiero, gdy D. weźmie go na ręce, czy D., który po zobaczeniu, jak wygląda cały tydzień z dzieckiem non stop, zajmuje się nim o wiele lepiej. Już potrafi rozpoznać źródło płaczu i wie, jak ten płacz uspokoić – łącznie z tym, jak rozśmieszyć dziecko robiąc z siebie idiotę, by zadziałało, gdy źródłem płaczu jest zwykłe marudzenie. Bo w robieniu z siebie idioty przy pięciomiesięcznym dziecku, przynajmniej moim, to już trzeba być kreatywnym. Na urlopie wyrósł mi w tym godny zastępca.

Pokazaliśmy Dawidowi góry, pokazaliśmy mu wodę. W jeden deszczowy dzień, który nam się przydarzył, zrobiliśmy pod wiatą ognisko. Nasze cygańskie dziecko spało pod tą wiatą jak nigdy, bez bujania, a później ze zdziwieniem spoglądało na ogień i uśmiechało się. Cudowny to był dzień. Widząc szczere zdziwienie w oczach mojego syna upewniłam się w tym, że chcę mu pokazywać, dawać poznawać. Dla niego wszystko tam było nowe, wszystko ekscytujące. Chyba nawet deszcz pod tą wiatą i to, że kapał na jego wyciągniętą dłoń było nowe. Na urlopie miałam szansę przypomnieć sobie, że dla mojego dziecka większość rzeczy jest nieznane. Jego pierwsze razy dopiero się rozpoczęły. We wszystkim. Płynęliśmy też z nim jachtem, próbowaliśmy moczyć nogi w wodzie (jeżeli ktoś w poprzednim tygodniu był nad Soliną i nagle usłyszał szatański pisk, od którego pękły mu bębenki to sorry, tak nasz syn okazał niezadowolenie, że woda w Zalewie nie jest podgrzewana, albo że jest po prostu mokra, ciężko stwierdzić). Staraliśmy się wycisnąć z tego czasu jak najwięcej dla nas, jako rodziny. Udało się to na tyle, że wróciliśmy naładowani nową energią, w poczuciu, że to był dobry czas, wykorzystany w pełni.

Wypoczęłam, złapałam oddech, miałam czas, by przemyśleć miniony rok, a nawet półtora roku, chyba najbardziej intensywne w moim życiu. Głęboki haust powietrza w płucach i spokój, tego było mi trzeba. Dzięki za to, naprawdę.

Wakacje z dzieckiem – kiedy relaks w postaci wylegiwania się na leżaku liczysz w minutach, a nie godzinach, spokojne zjedzenie posiłku we dwoje graniczy z cudem, a gdy przydarzy ci się chwila ciszy to i tak nie odpoczywasz, bo nie wierzysz i sprawdzasz, czy wszystko w porządku. Urlop, na którym kawałek cienia cenisz sobie bardziej, niż słońce, mimo że siedzisz na plaży, nocne nie spanie wynika z  karmienia, a nie imprezowania i nie możesz sobie pozwolić na wylegiwanie w łóżku do południa, a i tak jest cudownie, najpiękniej.

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