O mój Boże, dziecko płacze!!!

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Wychodząc naprzeciw niezadowolonym spojrzeniom przechodniów, spoglądających na mnie, idącą z wózkiem, z którego docierają dźwięki przypominające rzeź niewiniątek, albo na mnie, trzymającą na rękach zawodzącego niemowlaka oświadczam: drodzy ludzie, DZIECI PŁACZĄ. Ptaszki śpiewają, psy szczekają, dorośli mówią, DZIECI PŁACZĄ. Proste.

Po porodzie okazało się, że mój syn ma płuca, gardło, struny głosowe i wszystko inne, co może służyć do wydawania dźwięków. Ma też otwór gębowy, który potrafi otworzyć tak, że widać mu migdałki. Wszystkie wyżej wymienione narządy dają mu tak niepojętą dla niektórych możliwość – on płacze, kiedy coś jest nie tak. Nie patrzy na to, gdzie, o której i kto jest w pobliżu. Nie chcę go usprawiedliwiać, ale niestety, jest niemowlakiem, takie jego prawo.

Człapię więc z nim na rękach przez park. Właściwie to na ręce, bo druga ręka pcha wózek przecież. 40 stopni w cieniu, ja mokra, on też mokry, rozżalony, do domu daleko, więc wkładam go do tegoż wózka, bo ręce już zwiędnięte wołają o odpoczynek. I zaczyna się. Ryk osiąga niewyobrażalną siłę, idziemy na rekord. Ramiona do regeneracji potrzebują jeszcze chwili, jeszcze trochę. Idę, zdycham po prostu w tym całym nieszczęściu i co mnie spotyka? Wzrok! Taki właśnie zły, oceniający, bo cały park już słyszy, że Dawid tu jest, a po nasileniu wycia można wnioskować, że właśnie obdarłam go ze skóry. Co za matka nie potrafi uspokoić swojego dziecka? No co za matka?

Siedząc niedawno z przyjaciółkami w ogródku jednej z kawiarni, zostałam wzrokowo zbesztana przez jedną z eleganckich pań około czterdziestki, kiedy to mój syn pierworodny postanowił, że zapłacze. Ten jego głośny protest na otaczającą rzeczywistość trwał może minutę, chyba nawet nie. Szybka analiza źródła płaczu zagoniła mnie i moje dziecko za namiot, pod którym siedziałyśmy, celem szybkiego zatkania płaczącej jadaczki cyckiem. W czasie od pierwszego jęku, do czasu zatkania, zgorszona pani patrzyła w naszą stronę, kiwając z dezaprobatą głową. Ten wzrok, ten wyrzut, mogły znaczyć tylko jedno – twoje dziecko płacze, weź je stąd.

Płacz Dawida zgorszył nawet jedną panią doktor w przychodni NFZ, kiedy to ja, ze swoim czterotygodniowym wtedy dzieckiem, po wejściu do gabinetu po czterdziestominutowym opóźnieniu, nie dałam rady go uspokoić. „Dlaczego to dziecko płacze?” – zapytała zdziwiona pani doktor. „Nie wiem, proszę go zapytać” – odpowiedziałam ja.

No wybaczcie, naprawdę? Ja rozumiem, że wychodząc na miasto na kawę chcesz posiedzieć w spokoju. Sama po sobie wiem też, że jedząc obiad w restauracji, nie mam ochoty, żeby w tle do każdego kawałka z radia, słychać było ryk niemowlęcia. Też prawie dostaję niestrawności, jak on mi zaczyna płakać, ledwie wezmę widelec do ręki, uwierzcie. Nie sprawia mi też przyjemności, kiedy jego płacz zagłusza szum wiatru i śpiew słowików w parku. Wszystko rozumiem, ale bez przesady. Trzeba dać matce szanse na uciszenie potomka. Zanim rzucisz nienawistne spojrzenie pomyśl, że to jest niemowlak, on nie wie, że ci przeszkadza i że płacze się tylko w domu, między 18:00, a 18:13, bo później to już nie.

Zaraz rzucą się na mnie ci, którzy tak właśnie patrzą. Że te matki święte krowy, że wszystko im wolno i w ogóle siedźcie w domu, a nie się restauracji zachciewa. A życie byłoby o wiele prostsze, gdyby w takich sytuacjach stosować się do dwóch prostych zasad – wzajemnego zrozumienia i szacunku. Bo ja rozumiem, że ktoś chce mieć ciszę, a ten ktoś niech zrozumie, że dzieci czasem płaczą.

Z restauracji, lub innego miejsca publicznego, wyszłabym w przypadku, gdyby młody naprawdę nie dał się uspokoić przez dłuższy czas. Właśnie z szacunku do ludzi, którzy mogą nie chcieć słuchać tego, jakże imponującego, krzyku mojego dziecka. I nie, dłuższy czas to nie godzina, ani nawet nie pół.  Ale nie będę uciekać, gdy tylko z synowego gardła wydobędzie się pierwszy dźwięk. Bo właśnie wzajemne zrozumienie i szacunek. Są miejsca, do których nie chodzi się z małymi dziećmi, ja to szanuję. Do wszystkich pozostałych, przy wejściu do których nie wisi tabliczka z przekreślonym wózkiem dziecięcym, chodzić nadal zamierzam. Kropka.

Gdybym za każde zgorszone spojrzenie, jakim zostałam obdarzona podczas ostatnich trzech miesięcy spacerów, dostawała złotówkę, nie musiałabym się martwić o emeryturę. Jeszcze parę lat i znalazłabym się na corocznej liście Forbsa. Nie pozostaje mi nic innego, jak się na to uodpornić. Wpływu na to nie mam, w domu się nie zamknę przecież, a przypuszczam, że Dawid jeszcze niejednokrotnie da popis swoich umiejętności, w miejscu ogólnie uważanym za niestosowne. No cóż, tak jest ten świat skonstruowany, DZIECI PŁACZĄ – pogódź się z tym!

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