„Ja tylko lampkę wina”

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„Czy można pić alkohol w ciąży?” – dla mnie abstrakcyjne pytanie, jednak kiedy zaczniesz wpisywać je w google, już na poziomie „pić” wyskakuje jako jedna z propozycji. To znaczy, że moja ukochana wyszukiwarka bardzo często jest tym pytaniem zamęczana. Czy można? Jaka ilość jest szkodliwa, a jaka nieznacząca? Czy zrobię krzywdę swojemu dziecku pijąc lampkę wina? Czy moje dziecko ma kaca? Cała masa pytań. Tylko po co je sobie zadawać? Dla mnie takie dyskusje powinny się sprowadzać do czego innego. W ciąży możesz wszystko, tylko czy powinnaś?

Nikt nie przystawia ciężarnym pistoletu do głowy, kiedy to łykną sobie piwa od męża. Nie zabarwiamy się też na zielono, kiedy tylko w krwi pojawią się jakieś procenty. Tak naprawdę pić możesz całą ciążę, a nikt o tym nie będzie wiedział. Nie mówię tu o przyjęciu całej butelki wina, czy o zgrozo wódki. Są kobiety, które regularnie w ciąży piją czerwone wino. Znam nawet osoby, które mówią, że mają takie zalecenie od lekarza, że to pomaga na ciśnienie. Siadając wieczorem w wygodnym fotelu, po całym dniu dźwigania coraz większego brzucha, nagradzają siebie, oraz oczywiście swoje ciśnienie, upragnionym napojem bogów. Nic się nie dzieje, dziecko spokojne, na badaniach później wszystko dobrze, to tylko lampka dziennie, albo nawet raz na parę dni. W sumie dlaczego by nie? Szczerze? Do mnie to nie trafia. Wkurza mnie taki obrazek. Autentycznie irytuje mnie widok kobiety, która w pełni świadoma swojego stanu nalewa sobie alkoholu, a z brzucha robi sobie stolik na kieliszek (wygodna sprawa, naprawdę, przenośny podkład na wszelkiego rodzaju zastawę zawsze z tobą, dosłownie pod ręką za każdym razem, gdy go potrzebujesz). Naprawdę nie można się powstrzymać? Przecież każdy ci powie, że nie wiadomo, jaka ilość alkoholu w ciąży jest bezpieczna, a jaka może powodować problemy u dziecka, jak nie teraz, to w przyszłości. Naprawdę te 9 miesięcy to taki szmat czasu? Gdyby to był stan permanentny, może bym i zrozumiała, że ktoś musi,  ale że permanentny nie jest, to sorry, ale nie…

Ja podlałam swoje dziecko nie lampką wina, a całą butelką, kiedy to w pełni zrezygnowana i przekonana, że idzie okres i że nie uda się za pierwszym razem, podczas tegorocznych sierpniowych upałów, razem z D. i jego najlepszym przyjacielem, zrobiliśmy sobie „włoski” wieczór. Siedząc na dworze, każdy ze swoją lampką, podlewaliśmy się w niesamowicie upalną, parną noc. Wina poszło wtedy naprawdę dużo. Kilka dni później na teście pojawiła się druga blada kreska, a wraz z nią moje przerażenie, że co ja zrobiłam i po co piłam, skoro wiedziałam, że jest taka możliwość, że jestem w ciąży? Cała sprawa polegała na tym, że ja sobie obiecałam żyć normalnie, nie od okresu do okresu, a w moim normalnym życiu, przedciążowym, alkohol w trakcie weekendu to była normalna sprawa. Nie w patologicznych ilościach, chociaż nie powiem, nie raz do domu trafiałam zygzakiem. Wino, gin z tonickiem, tequila…mniam, a wszystko razem to już w ogóle 😉 Tylko że po pojawianiu się na teście drugiej kreski, moje ukochane procentowe napoje przestały mieć dla mnie jakiekolwiek znaczenie. Od sierpnia nie wypiłam nawet lampki i nie odczuwam, żeby mi tego jakoś szczególnie brakowało. Bo zmieniło się moje myślenie i przede wszystkim, priorytety. I nie uważam, żeby to był jakiś wielki powód do dumy, do chwalenia się, to jest po prostu normalne. Lekarz później tłumaczył mi to tak, że w tych pierwszych tygodniach dziecko jest chronione, bo nasz organizm skonstruowany jest tak, żeby matka nie zrobiła nieświadomie dziecku krzywdy, a przecież kiedyś o ciąży dowiadywano się o wiele później. Tylko że wraz z pojawieniem świadomości o ciąży, powinna się też pojawić odpowiedzialność za nią.

Jest jedna rzecz niesamowicie irytująca w tym nie piciu. Że nie pijesz ty, a cały świat jakoś nie przestał, więc z góry jesteś skazana na słuchanie tych pijących, jeżeli się z nimi gdzieś wybierzesz. I tak oto nagle odkrywasz, że wcześniej rozumiałaś, o co im chodzi, jak razem wychodziliście, a teraz jakoś tak jakby im się zchińszczyźnił język. Nie rozumiesz, analizujesz ich sposób myślenia, rozszyfrowujesz ukryte znaczenia nowo poznanych słów, na co mając w sobie tyle procentów, co rozmówca, nawet byś nie zwróciła uwagi. No i tyle, to jest dla mnie jedyna rzecz, którą ciężko przeskoczyć nie pijąc. Ludzie po którymś z kolei shocie wyścigują się na decybele, a ty tak siedzisz, słuchasz i coraz bardziej głuchniesz. Z drugiej strony, od jakiegoś czasu nie wyobrażam sobie siebie wychodzącej na miasto, na właśnie taką zakrapianą imprezę. Ja, wieloryb z wielkim brzuchem przy barze, pośród masy pijanych ludzi. Gdzie z tym brzuchem na taką imprezę? Dla mnie zawiewa to patologią. Wychodzę na miasto, ale zwijam do domu o tej godzinie, kiedy to większość po obaleniu już pierwszej flaszki na rozgrzanie w domu, właśnie na nie uderza.

Do mnie trafia jeszcze inny argument. Wyobraź sobie sytuację, że całą ciążę nie wypiłaś nic, co miałoby w sobie alkohol. Nic, ani kropli. I nagle przychodzi ten dzień, kiedy wypijasz lampkę wina, albo pół piwa, albo kieliszek wiśniówki. Wiem, że niektóre kobiety w ciąży mają takie zachcianki i jak widzą alko to by z dachu za nim skoczyły, żeby się napić, nawet jak przed ciążą za nim nie przepadały. Tak się zdarza. Więc dostajesz takiej chcicy i pijesz. I akurat pechowo, jak na złość, coś się dzieje. Potykasz się na schodach i spadasz, uderzasz się w brzuch w jakiś inny sposób albo dostajesz jakiś dziwnych plamień, krwawienia, albo ataku kamicy nerkowej, a której wcześniej nie wiedziałaś. To wywrócenie, uderzenie, czy inne problemy nie są spowodowane tymi paroma łykami alkoholu. Te rzeczy zdarzyłyby się i tak, tylko ty nie musiałabyś na izbie przyjęć zeznawać, że dzisiaj coś wypiłaś i nie musiałabyś się przy tym palić ze wstydu. Historia z życia wzięta, więc jak widać może się zdarzyć.

Czytałam, że dziecko dostając w trakcie ciąży alkohol, zostaje wprowadzone w stan upojenia. Czytałam, że później może się źle czuć, autentycznie mieć kaca. Położna na szkole rodzenia opisywała przypadki, gdzie dzieci po urodzeniu nie mogły się uspokoić, dopóki matka przed karmieniem nie napiła się lampki wina. Dopiero później taka właśnie sfrustrowana matka przyznawała się, że w ciąży od czasu do czasu, tak parę razy w tygodniu, taką lampkę właśnie przyjmowała. I co? Czy to normalne, że biedne dziecko od początku jest uzależnione? A przecież nie piła dużo. Czy to normalne? A może chciała je wychować na sommeliera? Dobra fucha, nieźle płacą i pijesz za darmo. Błagam, litości. Do mnie naprawdę trafiają te wszystkie kampanie, które przypominają, bo cholera trzeba przypominać, kobietom o tym, żeby w ciąży nie piły. Sądzę, że gdybym uległa niektórym namowom, bo takie się zdarzały, to w nocy z wyrzutów sumienia utkałby mi się sen, jak to moje dziecko w macicy, z właściwym grymasem na swojej pulchnej buźce, podnosi kciuk do góry i mówi „Spokho matka, ja ci powiem szzzzczerze, ja ciebie szanhuje”. Tyle w temacie, dziękuję bardzo. Nie wiem jak Wasze dzieci, ale moje na picie jest jeszcze za młode, jeszcze się w życiu zdąży naseplenić po kilku drinkach, na pewno.

Nie piję w ciąży, nawet lampki. Bo ta lampka nic mi nie da, a może zaszkodzić. Bo nikt nie da mi gwarancji, że nie wpłynie to negatywnie na moje dziecko. Bo nie chcę, żeby moje dziecko musiało pić coś, co jest trucizną, a alkohol jest trucizną, jakkolwiek dziwnie to dla niektórych zabrzmi. Ja tam lubię się od czasu do czasu podtruć i nie uważam, żeby było to coś strasznego, ale w ciąży? NIE. Po prostu NIE. Tyle w temacie.

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