Moje rodzicielskie wymagania

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Synku mój drogi, za trzy miesiące będziesz już z nami. Często zastanawiam się, jaki Ty jesteś, jaki będziesz. Odziedziczysz więcej ze mnie? A może z tej drugiej połowy możliwości? Przyznam się, że czasem planujemy, planujemy Ci z tatą życie. Nie martw się, nie są to bardzo rozbudowane plany. Nie powieszę na ścianie tablicy z wymaganiami i naszymi niespełnionymi marzeniami, nie będę co miesiąc odhaczać wykonanych zadań. Chciałabym dla Ciebie jak najlepiej. Dlatego planuję. Planuję Twoje życie przez pryzmat tego, jakim chcę być rodzicem.

Beztroskie rozważania na temat Twojego wyglądu nie miały u nas miejsca. Nie obchodzi nas, czy będziesz miał duży nos, czy mały, uszy po mnie, czy jak tato, beztrosko odstające na boki. Może będziesz miał piegi, a może nie. Włosy czarne, czy blond? Oczy niebieskie? Ty już wiesz, my musimy trochę jeszcze poczekać. W sumie muszę przyznać, że parę razy przeszło nam przez głowę, że dobrze by było, gdybyś wzrostu nie odziedziczył po dziadkach…ale tak naprawdę to też nie jest takie ważne. Najwyżej będziesz musiał bardziej przepychać się w szatni i trochę wyżej skakać przy grze w koszykówkę, nic strasznego. Najważniejsze jest, byś był zdrowy. Miał dwie zdrowe ręce, dwie zdrowe nogi, działające zmysły…byś urodził się bez żadnego obciążenia. To wystarczy. Bo są dzieci, które pod górkę mają już od pierwszych momentów życia. Chcę, byś był zdrowy. To wielkie marzenie, mam nadzieję, że się spełni.

Pokażemy Ci, jak można pięknie żyć. Dzięki doświadczeniom zbieranym przez lata, będziemy starali pokazać Ci, co w tym życiu jest tak naprawdę ważne. Nauczymy Cię, jak rozróżniać rzeczy dobre od złych. Nie pokażemy Ci co jest czym, sam będziesz musiał potrafić wybrać. Damy Ci wiedzę i możliwości, do wykorzystania, z nadzieją, że ich nie zmarnujesz. Czy to docenisz? Czy zrozumiesz, jak drogi to towar? To już nie od nas zależy.

Nigdy nie odczujesz, że Ci czegoś brakuje. Damy Ci ciepło, miłość, dom, spokój, zainteresowanie. Pokażemy Ci świat i wszystkie jego dobra, z których możemy korzystać. Będziemy zdejmować z półki rodzicielstwa potrzebne akcesoria, byś miał poczucie, że jesteś bezpieczny. Nie będziemy od dziecka bombardować Cię straszakami typu „Życie jest ciężkie”, „W życiu nic za darmo nie dostaniesz, trzeba się naharować, by coś mieć”. Po co? Tak, w życiu czasem nie jest lekko, ale wszystko jest do przejścia, bo masz nas, a my mamy Ciebie. Nauczymy Cię, co to praca, ale pokażemy też, że ona może być przyjemna. Będziesz wiedział, że tak naprawdę nic nam się nie należy i nic co mamy, nie jest pewne. Nie będziesz dzieckiem, które myśli, że pieniądze rosną na drzewie, a jedzenie rozmnaża się w nocy w lodówce. Otrzymasz dużo, ale świadomie, nie bezmyślnie.

Chcę, byś był szczęśliwy. Chcę, byś był wolny i miał poczucie, że Twoje życie należy do Ciebie, jest w Twoich rękach. Nie musisz być rowerzystą, jakby chciał tato, czy iść do dobrej uczelni, jakbym chciała ja. Ważne, byś to co robisz, robił dobrze i czerpał z tego satysfakcję. To Ty masz być szczęśliwy. My poczujemy szczęście w momencie, kiedy Ty osiągniesz swoje, bez względu na to, czy będzie to zgodne z naszymi preferencjami, czy nie. Ważne, byś po latach patrząc w lustro widział w nim człowieka, a patrząc w przeszłość nie miał powodu do wstydu (takiego większego, nie wstydu typu moralniak po imprezie, to też każdy musi przeżyć, więc luz, nie stresuj się).

Ciężkie prawdy Ci sprzedaję jak na etap życia prenatalnego, co? To dlatego tak mnie właśnie kopiesz? Tak synu, będę wpajać Ci te nudy, bo są naprawdę istotne. Cieszę się, że jesteś, bo jesteś moim szczęściem. Miłość, jaką do Ciebie czuję jest nie do opisania, a to dopiero początek. Jak Cię zobaczę, to zwariuję, tak pozytywnie, ze szczęścia. Jednak mam nadzieję, że to nie przesłoni mi moich planów wobec Ciebie. Bo chcę kochać Cię i dawać Ci wszystko mądrze, tak, byś mądrze mógł to przyjąć. A czy mi się to uda? To ważny egzamin, które będę zdawać codziennie przez wiele lat. Trzymaj lepiej kciuki, bo z jego wynikiem w sumie wiele się dla Ciebie wiąże.

Rośnij teraz zdrowo, rozwijaj się spokojnie i nie przejmuj się, jak czasem jęknę przy kopnięciu. Fakt, masz w sobie duży potencjał, jeżeli Twój zapał objawia się siłą i częstotliwością ruchów. Każdy przewrót budzi moją dumę, imponujące synu, naprawdę imponujące. Siedź tam sobie we mnie tyle, ile potrzebujesz, a jak już będziesz gotowy, to daj znać, na pewno poczuję, że wybierasz się na zewnątrz.

Kocham Cię synku i poza wszystkimi moimi rodzicielskimi planami, mam w stosunku do Ciebie jedno najważniejsze wymaganie. Po prostu, najzwyczajniej w świecie, bez względu na wszystko BĄDŹ.

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