Nas troje, nastroje

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Wahania nastroju w ciąży…hmmm, taki prosty sposób na usprawiedliwienie swojego wybuchowego charakteru, połączonego ze skłonnościami do morderstw i autodestrukcji. Takie  leciutkie przedłużenie zespołu napięcia przedmiesiączkowego, z paru dni, do dziewięciu miesięcy. Ogólnie to utarło się, że kobiety w ciąży mogą mieć zmienne nastroje i najzwyczajniej w świecie wykorzystuje się to do usprawiedliwienia wszelkich swoich wyskoków. Kobieta robi awanturę, wrzeszczy, krzyczy, płacze, później chce żeby ją przytulić, po czym znowu dostaje się kapciem w łeb, a na koniec słyszysz: „Kochanie, musisz mi wybaczyć, to ciążowe hormony”. Bezczelne. Prawda? Otóż nie kochani. Te wahania naprawdę istnieją, a co więcej, naprawdę ciężko z tym walczyć. Uwierzcie mi, jest to nieprzyjemne nie tylko dla tej „obrywającej” strony.

Jeżeli istnieje na świecie kobieta, która cieszy się, że może swoje codziennie dziwne zachowania zwalić na hormony, to musi to być prawdziwa wredna krowa i współczuję jej otoczeniu. Bo mi za to, co czasem robią ze mną te hormony, jest najzwyczajniej w świecie wstyd. Kiedy zwykłe odkurzanie kończy się niekontrolowanym wybuchem nienawiści w stosunku do odkurzacza, większość zachowań partnera doprowadza do szału, a zwyczajna rozmowa ze znajomym o sprawach codziennych skutkuje tysięcznym przewróceniem oczami na znak irytacji (ostatnio jestem naprawdę mistrzem w wywracaniu oczami, wnętrze mojej czaszki jest częściej oglądane przez moje gałki niż świat zewnętrzny), człowiek naprawdę zaczyna zastanawiać się, co z nim nie tak. Bo przecież ja na co dzień jestem miła. Naprawdę. Jestem dobrym człowiekiem. Dlaczego więc ciąża, czas uduchowienia, spokoju i radości, stał się czasem, kiedy sama się zastanawiam, jaką jeszcze ilość bluzgów jestem w stanie wydobyć z zasobów własnego słownictwa? Swoją drogą, to  naprawdę zaskakujące, jak bogaty jest polski język…

Mój D. ostatnio patrzy na mnie ze zdziwieniem. Jest cierpliwy. A ja go przepraszam. Dość często. Jednak w chwili, kiedy strzelając fochem jestem w stu procentach przekonana o własnej racji i krzywdzie, nic nie jest w stanie mnie zatrzymać. Nauczyłam się już po prostu mruczeć o tej krzywdzie pod nosem, bo po co on ma słuchać tych głupot. Czasem jednak mruczę na tyle głośno, że chyba jednak słyszy, ale często pozostawia to bez komentarza. Czasem mówi, że masakra, że weź się zastanów kobieto i moje ulubione: „Jak dobrze, że znałem cię na długo przed ciążą…” No cóż, trudno nie przyznać mu racji. Czy to już pora na konsultację psychiatryczną, czy to kiedyś wróci do normy? Bo ja naprawdę wredna się zrobiłam. Złośliwy, emocjonalny, skłonny do wszystkiego hormonalny koszmar otoczenia.

Moja przyjaciółka też jest cierpliwa. I też jest w ciąży. Ale chyba jej hormony nie są tak wredne…no i słucha. Biedna. Dziękuję przyjaciółko.

Te całe hormony to nie tylko złość. To również płacz i smutek. Albo płacz bez smutku, wtedy jest to właściwie płacz i śmiech jednocześnie, bo kiedy dwa razy zdarzyło mi się rozpłakać, bo po prostu poczułam, że mam taką potrzebę, cała sytuacja wydawała mi się tak idiotyczna, że taka zapłakana śmiałam się do rozpuku. Bo niby dlaczego ja płakałam? Bo tak? Jeżeli w pobliżu jest D. to pół biedy, wtedy śmiejemy się ze mnie razem, on przytuli i robi się lepiej. Jak jestem sama to gorzej, bo w tym stanie ciężko samą siebie objąć.

Płacz czasem jest też oczywiście z jakiegoś powodu. Może to być wzruszenie. Ojjj, wzruszenie, naprawdę, tak pięknie i łatwo się wzruszyć. Bo ładny piesek, bo samotny dziadek w parku, bo firanka tak spokojnie sobie wisi. Powodem może być też wspomnienie. Wszelkie próby pomyślenia o moich zmarłych bliskich kończą się płaczem. Albo opowiadania o czyjejś krzywdzie…masakra. Słyszeliście kiedyś tę piosenkę „Laleczka z saskiej porcelany?” No ludzie, błagam, kto to wymyślił? Na dodatek jest to chyba piosenka dla dzieci!! Tak, śpiewajmy swoim dzieciom od małego o nieszczęśliwym życiu biednej laleczki, która nie miała rodziny, a jak już znalazła to figa, zaraz autor sprytnie zamordował porcelanowego księcia i dziewczyna znowu sama na tej starej komodzie została. Brawo. Pokażmy od początku, że życie to nie je bajka, to je bitwa. Tak, naprawdę. Kiedy ostatnio natknęłam się na youtubie na tą piosenkę przy okazji szukania kołysanek, popłakałam się jak dzika. Co za czas. Z drugiej strony te polskie kołysanki bywają naprawdę drastyczne…ale o tym już w innym wpisie.

Tak, wahania nastroju w ciąży są faktem. Pewne kobiety odczuwają je łagodniej, pewne mocniej. Ja staram się hamować, jednak czasem za późno orientuję się, że zbliża się apokalipsa.  Żaden hamulec nie zadziała, gdy w swojej złości rozpędzona do 160 kilometrów na godzinę, próbuję wyhamować 5 metrów przed celem ataku. Biedny cel. Nie jest tak codziennie, ale jak już się zdarzy, to naprawdę, są to występy, które na długo pozostaną w pamięci widza. Zbliżają się Święta. Czas radości, dzwoniących dzwoneczków, świecących gwiazdeczek, latających aniołków, hoł hoł hoł, ale przede wszystkim czas z spędzony z rodziną i przyjaciółmi. Błagam Cię dowódco hormonalnej gwardii w moim ciele, dajcie mi spokój chociaż w tym czasie. Bardzo nie chciałabym podczas tak pięknego okresu być zmuszona przez was do kazania aniołkowi, by włożył sobie choinkę w przysłowiową dupę.

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  61. Pocieszę Cię – humory po porodzie są jeszcze gorsze 😉 przynajmniej u mnie 😉

    Hej 🙂
    Mój synek pokazał charakterek 😉 tp miałamna 24/25.12, ponieważ miałam/mam trochę problemów zdrowotnych i dochodzi do tego mój obciążony wywiad położniczy, razem z moim lekarzem prowadzącym doszliśmy do wniosku, że nie ma co ryzykować i dostałam skierowanie na cesarkę. Umówiłam się w szpitalu na 18.12. Ta data też synkowi nie pasowała 😉 postanowił sam, że wyjdzie 9.12 i tym samym o tygodnia jesteśmy już w domu 🙂

    Humory ciążowe przy tym co teraz robią ze mną hormony to totalnie nic 😉 w zeszłą sobotę jeszcze w szpitalu, przez 1.5 godziny ryczałam, że nie mam pokarmu i moje dziecko musi jeść mm. Jak mąż kupił laktator to się okazało, że mam tyle mleka, że spokojnie kilka noworodków by się najadło. W niedzielę jak wróciliśmy i zobaczyłam bałagan w domu – mąż cały czas był u nas w szpitalu, to na mega wkurwie wzięłam się za sprzątanie, po czym pokłóciłam się z mężem o to, że i tak nikt nie szanuje mojej pracy w tym domu, bo teściowa i tak zaraz zrobi syf i w dupie ma, że w domu jest noworodek. W poniedziałek była awantura o nie pamiętam co, ale też się skończyło moim płaczem i tekstem, że mąż musi mnie zrozumieć, bo ja nad tym nie panuję. Wczoraj cały wieczór byłam obrażona, bo mąż chciał się napić wody z mojej butelki i nie umiał zrozumieć, że mam porcje wody do wypicia w ciągu dnia odmierzone w tej właśnie butelce, bo mam problem z piciem wystarczająco dużo, a to ważne dla laktacji… Także wesoło mam sama ze sobą…

    • Hej,
      Przede wszystkim to gratuluję!!!!!! Juz jestescie razem, cudownie 🙂 synek pewbie do zakochania 🙂 bardzo się ciesze!!!
      Po drugie to jak czytam o Twoich humorach to naprawdę jakbym o sobie czytała. Może być jeszcze gorzej? To muszę psychicznie nastawić na to bliskich 🙁
      Jeszcze raz gratuluję i dużo zdrówka! Mam nadzieję, że niedlugo hormony dadzą Ci spokój

  62. A ja „tylko” nadwrazliwa bylam i z placzem na koncu nosa 😉 . Najlepszy numer byl ze w tym czasie moje starsze dziecko wyprawialam na zielone przedszkole i mimo ze nie pierwszy raz to dziecko bylo dzielne a mamie sie plakac chcialo. Ale takie wzruszanie sie mi niestety zostalo i na wszyskich wystepach dzieci rycze jak bobr i wlasnie mialam wczoraj okazje do publicznej prezentacji bo bylo spotkanie swiateczne w przedszkolu i synus mowil wierszyk o Tojaju zjadajac mikrofon 😉

    • Ojjj, no bo występy dzieci są ogolnie wzruszające, domyslam się że wlasnych tym bardziej 🙂 ja płaczę srednio 3 razy dziennie, powoli zaczynam się do tego przyzwyczajać…

  63. Hahaha, az sie oplulam na koncu 😀 doslonale cie rozumiem,tez chodzilam taka wpieniona i placząca, to przejdzie 🙂 pozdrawiam

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