Pozwólcie, że zacznę od początku

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O moim poronieniu napisałam już wszystko. Opisałam każdą emocję, która mi towarzyszyła, każdy smutek, obawę. Ten, kto czyta blog regularnie wie, przez jakie etapy przeszłam przez ostatnie trzy miesiące.Teraz wchodzę w nowy etap. Chcę starać się o dziecko. Leżałam wczoraj na kanapie czytając „Sekret” (który uwielbiam i odświeżam sobie regularnie za każdym razem, kiedy zapomnę, że pozytywne myślenie rules i w ogóle siła przyciągania rządzi) i wtedy mnie natchnęło. Nie mogę starać się o dziecko tkwiąc cały czas w myślach o stracie. Muszę zacząć nowy rozdział. Tylko to pozwoli mi ruszyć do przodu.

Blog piszę od trzech miesięcy. Na początku moje wpisy wystrzeliwałam w przestrzeń jak z karabinu. Wyrzucałam z siebie wszystko, co we mnie tkwiło, pisałam parę postów dziennie i z wpisu na wpis czułam się coraz lepiej. Później Jestem jedną na trzy trafił na główną Onetu i znalazłam w Waszych komentarzach dużo pocieszenia, poczułam, że są osoby, które swoimi słowami sprawiają, że czuję się lepiej. Dziękuję Wam! Nie cieszę się, że kogoś jeszcze to spotkało, ale jednak świadomość, że nie jestem sama jest uspokajająca – tak to działa.  Później pisałam spokojniej, kiedy naszła mnie refleksja, kiedy poczułam, że chcę i mam o czym. Wszystko o poronieniu. Teraz już kończę. Poronienie i uczucia z nim związane to część mojego życia. Ja tego nie cofnę, nie wymażę z pamięci, jednak muszę żyć tak, jak żyłam do tej pory. Jedna z Was napisała w komentarzu „Zmieniłam się, swoje podejście do życia. Mam wrażenie, że zgubiłam w sobie beztroską dziewczynkę.” I wiecie co? To prawda. To zmienia. Człowiek zdaje sobie sprawę z tego co jest ważne, a co ważniejsze. Ja również się zmieniłam. Dojrzałam? Może. Przemyślałam pewne sprawy? Na pewno.

„Ładnie ostatnio wyglądasz” – powiedział do mnie wczoraj D. „Jesteś taka jakaś inna, taka…wyluzowana”. Tak, to prawda. Nie wiem, z czego to wynika. Może świadomość, że przeczekałam już te trzy miesiące, a może faktycznie ten czas pozwolił mi na poukładanie sobie wszystkiego w głowie i dzięki temu znowu czuję się dobrze…znowu żyję normalnie. To również dla mnie jest sygnał, że rozdział pod tytułem „Poronienie” jest za mną i należy zacząć pisać nowy.

Więc zaczynam, dzisiaj. „Starania o dziecko” to będzie główny temat wpisów. Zakładając blog zaznaczyłam, że nie wiem, jak to wszystko się potoczy. I nie wiem nadal. Życie się pisze, a ja piszę o nim. I dobrze mi z tym. Od dawna chciałam pisać, tylko brakowało mi tzw. kopniaka. Szkoda, że musiałam dostać aż tak porządnego, i to nie kopniaka, a konkretnego kopa w dupę, żeby zacząć. Ale jak już zaczęłam, to będę kontynuować.

Ile uczuć związanych ze staraniami zostanie tu wypisanych? Nie mam pojęcia. Opisywania starań ze szczegółami może sobie oszczędzę (nie, blog nie zmienia się w pornobloga, niestety, sorry, może kiedyś), jednak o efektach będę informować na bieżąco. Czy potrwa to miesiąc, pół roku, czy dwa lata? Cholera, również nie wiem. Wiem jedynie, że chcę i poczekam ile będzie trzeba. Bo mam nadzieję i dobre nastawienie. I przeczucia też mam dobre, tak do kompletu.

Zmieniam kierunek myślenia i obiekt myślenia. Czekam. Chcę. Jestem gotowa. Cieszę się, to najważniejsze. Oprócz paru incydentalnych myśli po kilku okrutnych koszmarach, na co dzień myślę pozytywnie. Jest tyle rzeczy, z których można się cieszyć. Tak, jak cieszyłam się przed ciążą i przed jej stratą. Patrzę w przyszłość z nadzieją i ufnością. Bo nie pozwolę, by strach mnie zdominował. Bo jestem chodzącym pozytywem i nie chcę tego zmieniać. Jedyne, co się zmieniło, to że teraz jestem trochę dojrzalszym chodzącym pozytywem. Nie chcę, żeby poronienie mnie definiowało. I tego będę się trzymać. Trochę mnie irytuje, że już mi się udało, już to miałam i straciłam, tak niespodziewanie i niesprawiedliwie. Wkurza mnie, że nie mam pewności, że nikt nie odpowie mi na pytanie, czy mi się uda, że nikt mnie nie zapewni. Będziemy teraz uprawiać z D. wolny seks bez zabezpieczeń z pełną świadomością, co może z tego wyniknąć. Nie mogę się tego bać, bo przecież może z tego wyniknąć coś naprawdę pięknego.

„Dwieście lat temu Benjamin Franklin wyjawił światu tajemnicę swojego sukcesu: nigdy nie odkładaj do jutra tego, co możesz zrobić dzisiaj. Nie wiem, czemu odkładamy sprawy na później, ale gdybym miała zgadywać, (…) to ma coś wspólnego z lękiem (…) przed porażką, bólem, odrzuceniem. Czasem lękamy się tylko podjęcia decyzji, nie chcąc popełnić błędu, którego nie można naprawić. Wiem jedno, jeśli człowiek jest gotów zaryzykować, widok z drugiej strony zapiera dech w piersiach.” Chirurdzy, sezon 1

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Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. Il convient enfin de rappeler que la « roqya » est un remède précis et qu’elle ne peut se faire que sous certaines conditions et surtout qu’elle demeure l’exception à la règle, qui est de toujours s’adresser directement à Dieu. Avant de recourir à une « roqya », il convient de faire une introspection sur ses propres pratiques cultuelles et de revenir.

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