Do pracy rodacy, czyli powrót na tory po poronieniu

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Powroty do pracy po dłuższym L4 przeważnie są dość ciężkie. O ile cięższe są dla kobiety, która na L4 przebywała z powodu poronienia wie tylko kobieta, która takiego powrotu do pracy doświadczyła. Mi znalezienie sposobu na odpowiadanie na pewne pytania zajęło trzy dni. Co robić, gdy ludzkie reakcje sprawiają, że czujesz się zakłopotana, bo swoim poronieniem ich zakłopotałaś? Jak się zachować, gdy ktoś uporczywie ciągnie temat? Jak wrócić, gdy większość miała wiedzę o Twoim stanie błogosławionym, a tylko garstka o jego końcu?

Pół biedy, jeżeli o ciąży wiedzieli nieliczni. W moim przypadku niestety wieść rozeszła się  w zatrważającym tempie. Nie chciałam już pracować, ponieważ bardzo męczące było dla mnie jeżdżenie ponad 100 km dziennie, a poza tym pracę mam często stresującą, więc stwierdziłam, że odpuszczę. Zajmuję kierownicze stanowisko w instytucji, w której pracuje ponad 700 osób. Ludzie znają mnie z kontaktu bezpośredniego, ale również z maili, które wysyłam do wszystkich informując np. o zmianach w organizacji, najbliższych wydarzeniach itd. Łatwo było zauważyć, że kto inny wykonuje moje obowiązki. O ciąży osobiście nie informowałam nikogo oprócz paru bliskich koleżanek z pracy i szefa, a później pracowników z mojego wydziału.  Gdy dyrektor na zebraniu kierowników powiedział, że od tej pory moje stanowisko będzie zajmować inna osoba, jedna część firmy założyła, że mnie zwolnił, a druga po uśmiechniętej minie przy ogłaszaniu domyśliła się, że to chyba jednak ciąża. Idąc na zwolnienie zakładałam, że trochę mnie nie będzie. Pożegnałam się, trochę popłakałam, że będę tęsknić, a później udałam się do domu, by cieszyć się prawidłowo rozwijającą się ciążą.

Kiedy okazało się, że straciłam dziecko, zadzwoniłam do koleżanki, która mnie zastępowała. Poprosiłam ją, żeby powiedziała szefowi, że jednak niedługo wrócę, ale żeby pozostałym jeszcze nic nie mówić. Nie byłam gotowa na te wszystkie telefony, smsy i pytania. Później stopniowo informowałam swoich pracowników o tym, co się stało. Mam w wydziale praktycznie samych młodych ludzi, część z nich, to rodzice. Spotkałam się naprawdę z samymi życzliwymi reakcjami. Ale to tylko mój wydział. Poinformowanie 17 osób jest niczym w konfrontacji z 700.

I tak oto w poprzedni poniedziałek, po dwóch miesiącach przerwy wróciłam do pracy. Na zwolnienie ciążowe poszłam zaraz po Wielkanocy. Naprawdę nie wiem, kiedy minął ten czas. Tyle się wydarzyło. Dla mnie zmieniło się wszystko. Jednak dla większości ludzi z pracy nadal byłam w ciąży. Dla niektórych zapewne nadal jestem. W przeciągu trzech ostatnich dni odpowiedziałam na tyle bolących pytań, że nawet nie jestem w stanie ich wszystkich opisać.

Dzień pierwszy. Parkuję. Na parkingu spotykam ekipę informatyków. Witam się pospiesznie i uciekam, zanim zaczną szukać brzucha. Wchodzę po schodach, chcę jak najszybciej dotrzeć do swojego biura. Już na portierni uśmiechnięty pan wita się ze mną słowami: „Oooo, pani Ania, co pani tutaj robi?” W odpowiedzi posłałam mu jedynie uśmiech i proszę o klucze. Idę dalej. Schody. Dosłownie i w przenośni. Spotykam na nich kolejną osobę witającą mnie uśmiechem i pytającą „A co ty tutaj?” „Pracuję” – odpowiadam, też z uśmiechem. Przykleiłam sobie tego banana już w samochodzie i postanowiłam, że do końca dnia go nie zdejmę. Wchodzę do biura, wita mnie koleżanka, która mnie zastępowała. Przy niej mogę odkleić z twarzy męczącego banana, więc odklejam. Łzy w oczach, trzy szybkie oddechy. Wiedziałam, że będzie mi ciężko, ale nie wiedziałam, że aż tak. Idę po kartę przejazdową do transportu. Pani, która wydaje mi kartę pyta „Wszystko w porządku pani Aniu? Chyba nie bardzo, co?” Świetne pytanie. No faktycznie, nie bardzo. Ale ok, nie pyta złośliwie. „Proszę się nie przejmować, młoda jest pani, jeszcze pani będzie miała dzieci.” To też nie było złośliwe, ale pocieszające tym bardziej. Tak, jestem młoda, mam 28 lat i wiem, że są ludzie w gorszej sytuacji. Ale to nie sprawi, że mniej odczuję stratę. Pani wytrwale ciągnie temat. „Naprawdę, proszę się nie przejmować”. Z oczu bezwolnie poleciały mi łzy. „Przepraszam, pani Aniu, nie chciałam. Ale głupia baba ze mnie, po co ja pytałam? Przepraszam, nie chciałam”. „Nie szkodzi” – odpowiadam- „Nic złego nie miała pani na myśli, jednak proszę też mnie zrozumieć, dlaczego tak reaguję.” Koniec rozmowy. Bilans po pierwszym starciu: parę łez, jedna zakłopotana pytająca, jedna zakłopotana ja. Idę do kadr, witam się z koleżanką. Na szczęście tam wszyscy wiedzą, że ja już w pojedynkę, więc jest dobrze. Nagle przychodzi dziewczyna, z którą przez cztery lata pracy rozmawiałam może z cztery razy. Jak widać o ciąży wiedziała, bo uśmiechnięta pyta, jak się czuję. „Dziękuję, dobrze” – odpowiadam standardowo. Ogólnie postanowiłam, że na pytanie o samopoczucie zawsze będę odpowiadała w angielskim stylu, że dobrze, z nadzieją, że rozmówca nie będzie ciągnął tematu. Ta akurat pani niestety nie należy do tych, którym ta odpowiedź wystarcza. „A widać już coś?” – pyta i pokazuje na brzuch. „Nie, nie widać, bo poroniłam i już jestem w pracy na stałe”. Cisza. No tak, bo niby co na to miała powiedzieć. A jednak się decyduje. „Ojej, ale gafa, no nie, ale gafa, jaka gafa”. Nie nazwałabym tego gafą. Skąd mogła wiedzieć? Gafą było jednak to, co zaczęła wygadywać później. „Nie wiedziałam, przepraszam, bo wiesz, w ciąży byłaś, zdrowa jesteś, widzę cię, wyglądasz normalnie, no to pytam. Ale co? Jak to się stało? Podnosiłaś coś ciężkiego, czy co?” Tak, podnosiłam, stukilogramowego słonia, rekreacyjnie, dla poprawienia kondycji w ciąży. Oprócz tego, by nie stracić figury, wyczynowo jeździłam na rowerze, chodziłam na ściankę wspinaczkową, a wieczorami z zamiłowania chodziłam po suficie. Warto również nadmienić, że kobieta po poronieniu wygląda raczej normalnie. Nie świecimy w ciemnościach i nie wyrastają nam dodatkowe części ciała. „Nie, nie podnosiłam, po prostu poroniłam, to się zdarza”. Po jeszcze kilku dodatkowych „przepraszam”, dziewczyna powoli zaczęła wycofywać się za drzwi. Poszła, ufff. Plus jest taki, że udało mi się w końcu poinformować kogoś o poronieniu bez łez w oczach, spokojnie, tak jak planowałam. Wracam na piętro. Spotykam kierownika IT. „Dzień dobry. Moglibyście podpiąć mi z powrotem sprzęt? Bo nie mam jak pracować, a chciałam dzisiaj zrobić parę rzeczy” – zagaduję. „Aaaa dzień dobry. To jednak zdecydowała się pani dojeżdżać w ciąży?” – słyszę w odpowiedzi. „Ja już nie jestem w ciąży, straciłam ją, także wróciłam już na razie na stałe”. Pan kierownik patrzy na mnie przez chwilę. „Bardzo mi przykro, współczuję. Nie ma problemu, zaraz podeślę któregoś z chłopaków, to wszystko pani popodpina.” No, taka reakcja jest chyba najlepsza. Mężczyzna nie był zakłopotany, nie było też w jego reakcji tej nerwowości, którą widziałam u wcześniejszych zagadujących. Reakcja w stu procentach naturalna i prawidłowa. Wracam w końcu do swojego biura, siadam. Cisza. Telefon nie dzwoni. Poprosiłam sekretarkę dyrektora, żeby z powrotem dodała mnie do stałej listy mailingowej. Wracam do pracy, chcę, żeby było jak wcześniej. Usiadłam przy biurku, popatrzyłam w okno. Ostatni raz siedziałam tu jeszcze w ciąży myśląc, że będę tęsknić za tym pokojem w czasie zwolnienia. Los nie dał mi jednak tęsknić za bardzo. Telefon milczy, nikt nie przychodzi, nic nie chce. Tak naprawdę czułam się, jakbym właśnie przechodziła pierwszy dzień w nowej pracy. Dwa miesiące nieobecności na moim stanowisku to szmat czasu. Nie jestem zaznajomiona z bieżącymi problemami, zdecydowana większość osób w ogóle nie wie, że jestem w pracy, więc nie dzwoni, mam spore zaległości. Ale spokojnie, nadrobię, jak tylko ludzie przestaną pytać, i dadzą mi normalnie pracować. Pod koniec dnia udaje mi się dostać do szefa. Szef pyta jak się czuję, czy wszystko ok i rzuca parę problemów, z którymi właśnie się borykamy. „Umówię się do ciebie na jutro ok? Bo chciałam porozmawiać” – no i się umawiam. Dzień dobiega końca. Nareszcie! Chcę iść do domu i przygotować się na jutro. Informacja o poronieniu powoli zacznie krążyć po korytarzach i zamiast uśmiechniętych twarzy, zapewne będą mnie widać spuszczone głowy i zmieszane spojrzenia. Zobaczymy.

Dzień drugi. Spotkanie u szefa. „Właściwie to chciałam porozmawiać, bo chciałabym być wobec was uczciwa tak, jak wy jesteście wobec mnie.” – zaczynam. „Zdaję sobie sprawę, jakie zajmuję stanowisko, i że każda moja nieobecność wiąże się dla ciebie z przeorganizowaniem pracy, więc zrozumiem, jeżeli masz wobec mnie jakieś inne plany. Nie chciałabym, żeby moje życie osobiste rzutowało na twoją pracę, a nie będę ukrywać, że nadal chcę zajść w ciążę, tylko nie wiem, czy uda mi się to za miesiąc, czy za dwa lata.” Dobra, powiedziałam to, sporo myślałam, jak to powiedzieć, i udało mi się to niemalże na jednym wdechu. „Jestem gotowa do pracy, nic mnie nie rozprasza, mogę wykonywać swoje obowiązki tak, jak do tej pory, jednak zrozumiem, jeżeli w związku z moją sytuacją podejmiesz jakieś decyzje”. Szef nie wygląda na zdziwionego. W odpowiedzi słyszę, że mam się nie przejmować  i pracować. Praca w moim wydziale zorganizowana jest tak, że w razie kolejnego zwolnienia każdy wie, co ma robić. Czyli wszystko jest dobrze. Wychodzę z gabinetu dyrektora i spotykam panią, która zawsze dla wszystkich jest uprzejma i przyjazna. Lepiej trafić nie mogłam. „Pani Ania! Jak miło panią widzieć! Jak się pani czuje?” Pada moja standardowa angielska odpowiedź. „Ale jak pani jest w pracy, to znaczy, że dzidziuś jest zdrowy?” No tak, można by tak pomyśleć. „Nie, wróciłam, bo poroniłam. Jestem już na stałe, także jeżeli czegoś pani potrzebuje, to zapraszam” – odpowiadam z pełnym spokojem. W oczach kobiety pojawia się coś jakby przerażenie. „Ojeju, przepraszam. Co za gafa” – hmmm, co oni mają z tą gafą? „Ja nie wiedziałam, przepraszam. ” Potem następuje krótka wymiana zdań na zasadzie „Przepraszam”, „Nie szkodzi”, „Przepraszam”, „Nie szkodzi”, „Ale ja naprawdę przepraszam”, „Ale naprawdę nic się nie stało, proszę się nie przejmować”, „Ale ja przepraszam, nie wiedziałam”, „No właśnie, bo skąd pani mogła wiedzieć, nic się nie stało, naprawdę”. No i później punkt kulminacyjny – „No bo wie pani, Asia też wróciła do pracy, a tak samo poszła na zwolnienie w ciąży jak pani, no ale z jej dzieckiem wszystko ok. I z dzieckiem Iwonki też. A Kasia to już nawet urodziła. Ja nie wiedziałam, że z pani nie jest dobrze, ja przepraszam”. Na szczęście pani w końcu zdołała sprawdzić, jak wyglądają drzwi z drugiej strony. Sekretarka patrzy na mnie pytająco. „Wszystko w porządku, już się chyba przyzwyczaiłam, że ludzie różnie reagują” – mówię. No bo przecież nikt nigdy im nie powiedział, jak powinni się zachowywać w takich sytuacjach. Dlaczego jednak po otrzymaniu informacji nie potrafią zakończyć na zwykłym „przykro mi” ?

Dzień trzeci. Zebranie kierowników terenowych. Przy stole siedzi pięciu mężczyzn i ja. Czekamy na dyrektora. Jeden z kierowników to mój kolega. Siedzi obok mnie. „Wróciłaś do pracy? Do kiedy” – pyta. „Już niestety na stałe” – odpowiadam. „Och, rozumiem, przykro mi.” Zajarzył, całe szczęście nie musiałam mu tego tutaj tłumaczyć. No ale nie mogło być aż tak pięknie. To dopiero trzeci dzień, dajmy ludziom szansę. Na drugim końcu stołu siedzi uśmiechnięty pan. Kiedy doczekał się w końcu kontaktu wzrokowego z moją osobą, entuzjastycznie krzyknął przez cały gabinet: „Pani Ania! Jest pani w pracy! Jak się pani czuje?” „Dziękuję, dobrze” – odpowiadam mechanicznie. „Ale jeżeli pani jest w pracy, to znaczy, że wszystko w porządku?” No, zaczyna się. „Nie jest w porządku, ale dziękuję. Jestem już w pracy, więc jeżeli czegoś pan potrzebuje, to pozostaję do dyspozycji.” Chyba nie dało się na to uprzejmiej odpowiedzieć, prawda? „Nie, nie, ja pytam o dziecko pani Aniu. Jak już pani jest, to znaczy, że lekarz pracować pozwolił?” „Nie, nie jest w porządku, ale dziękuję”. W tym momencie rozmowie przyglądali się już wszyscy zgromadzeni, zwłaszcza, że pan pytający siedział naprawdę daleko ode mnie. Niech szlag trafi te długie stoły konferencyjne. „Ale ja o ciążę pytałem.” Tak, już teraz wszyscy patrzą z zacikawieniem. „Wiem, o co pan pytał. Ja straciłam tę ciążę, dlatego jestem w pracy”. W tym momecie zainteresowanie tematem jakby osłabło. Z wszystkich patrzących we mnie został tylko ten właśnie pytający pan, reszta patrzyła już w blat stołu. „Aaaa, rozumiem, to przepraszam, nie wiedziałem. To w takim razie musimy porozmawiać na osobności. Bo wie pani” – ściasza głos – „Ja też nie mogę mieć dzieci”. Na to nie byłam przygotowana. Odpowiadam prawie odruchowo – „Ale ja mogę mieć dzieci. To znaczy, przykro mi, że pan nie może, ale ja mogę”. Cisza. W trzecim dniu udało mi się spowodować totalną ciszę w pomieszczeniu pełnym zniecierpliwionych kierowników. A wszyscy wiemy, że kierownicy wybitnie lubią mówić, bo przecież są tacy mądrzy i tak dużo rzeczy chcą wszystkim przekazać. Jakoś nikt nie kwapił się do dalszej konweracji. Po skończonym dniu wracam do domu. Całe szczęście, że akurat wypada długi weekend. W piątek praktycznie nikogo nie będzie w pracy, więc nie będę musiała przechodzić przez kolejne etapy informowania. Swoją drogą, jak to możliwe, że taka informacja nie dotarła przez trzy dni do wszystkich w tak plotkarskiej firmie? To naprawdę jakiś cud. Może już pierwszego dnia powinnam udać się do pań z księgowości i im oświadczyć, że straciłam dziecko. One są zawsze niezawodne, działają lepiej niż mail i radiowęzeł razem wzięte. Mój błąd. Oszczędziłoby mi to wiele kłopotu.

Pierwsze dni po powrocie do pracy mam już za sobą. Jak widać przeżyłam, większych ran nie odniosłam. Przez te trzy dni nauczyłam się już, żeby nie mówić „poroniłam”. To działa na ludzi w dziwny sposób. Boją się, zatykają usta w przerażeniu, uciekają, albo po prostu gadają głupoty. Lepsze reakcje pojawiają się na „straciłam ciążę”. Może wynika to z tego, że rozmówca nie do końca wtedy wie, co się tak naprawdę stało. Ciężko jest odpowiadać na te wszystkie pytania, szczególnie że najczęściej zadają je obcy ludzie, z którymi łączy mnie tylko to, że podpisaliśmy umowę z tym samym pracodawcą. Cieszę się, że już pracuję, ale jednocześnie uważam, że dobrze, że dałam sobie czas. Teraz jestem w stanie już właściwie wykonywać swoje obowiązki. Zaczynam żyć jak przed ciążą. Muszę wpaść w ten rytm. Na spotkaniu, na którym jedna z koleżanek nie potrafiła znaleźć wyjścia z sytuacji, szybko powiedziałam, co należy zrobić i jak poprowadzić sprawę, żeby było dobrze. „Ooo, widzę że Ania już wróciła na odpowiednie tory. Witamy z powrotem.” – powiedziała zaprzyjaźniona prawniczka. Miło usłyszeć coś takiego. Tak, po totalnym wykolejeniu jestem znów na torach, jadę dalej. Po poniesionej stracie wracam do gry. Postanowiłam trzymać głowę w górze. Pracuję. Po tych trzech dniach stwierdzam, że większość ludzi zachowuje się normalnie. Oczywiście w pierwszym kontakcie, jeżeli nie wiedzą jeszcze, co się stało, pytają o ciążę, jednak gdy już wiedzą, nie lamentują i nie zasypują mnie dziwnymi pytaniami. To naturalne, że pytają, też bym może i zapytała. Niektórzy przypatrują się, szukają brzucha, który na tym etapie mógłby już być widoczny. Swoją drogą, muszę poćwiczyć nad sylwetką, bo niektórzy patrząc na moją wypukłość brzuszną chyba nie dowierzają przekazywanej przeze mnie informacji. Na pewno odpowiem jeszcze pary razy na krępujące i bolące pytania, ale jest to do zniesienia. Trzeba wymyślić sobie jedną lub dwie odpowiedzi i wytrwale się ich trzymać. Odpowiadam zawsze uprzejmie, spokojnie. Nie złoszczę się. Nie mam jednak zamiaru więcej przepraszać, że swoim poronieniem wprawiłam kogoś w zakłopotoanie. Ale o tym, to może już w następnym poście…

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Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. Il convient enfin de rappeler que la « roqya » est un remède précis et qu’elle ne peut se faire que sous certaines conditions et surtout qu’elle demeure l’exception à la règle, qui est de toujours s’adresser directement à Dieu. Avant de recourir à une « roqya », il convient de faire une introspection sur ses propres pratiques cultuelles et de revenir.

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