Jak poronić i nie zwariować

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„Oglądaj dużo pozytywnych filmów”, „Wygadaj się komuś”, „Idź do kościoła, tam znajdziesz spokój”, „Jak najszybciej wróć do pracy”, „Chodź na długie spacery”, „Wyjedź gdzieś, chociaż na weekend”, „Zacznij układać puzzle”, „Mam dobrą książkę, mogę ci pożyczyć”, „Upij się, ale to tak porządnie”. Czy Ty też masz taką jedną rzecz, którą robisz, jak Ci źle? Spacery, muzyka, rozmowa, jedzenie słodyczy, wycieczka, impreza. Co poleciłbyś znajomemu, który przechodzi przez coś ciężkiego? Co można polecić kobiecie, która właśnie poroniła upragnione dziecko? No i przede wszystkim, której z tych rad owa kobieta powinna posłuchać?

Mój plan na ciążę był dopracowany w 100%. Pracować przestałam w 10 tygodniu, ze względu na dalekie dojazdy. Już po tygodniu wolnego udało mi się zapomnieć o dotychczasowych obowiązkach, w głowie miałam zupełnie co innego. Pewnego dnia wybrałam się do księgarni w rynku kupić D. prezent na urodziny. Pogoda była wymarzona na taki spacer, wczesna wiosna, pierwsze odczuwalnie dodatnie temperatury po zimie. Idąc przez rynek zobaczyłam ludzi siedzących w świeżo rozłożonych ogródkach piwnych. Co to za ludzie? Kto siedzi w środku tygodnia o 12:00 w południe na rynku i pije kawę, albo spotyka się ze znajomymi? (Może nie licząc dobrze sytuowanych emerytów, studentów oraz żon Hollywood). Kto ma na to czas? I wtedy przebłysk w głowie – JA! Ja przez najbliższe pół roku! Mogę chodzić na spacery, czytać książki popijając sok w kawiarni i w zasadzie to nigdzie mi się nie śpieszy. Umawiając się na wizytę do fryzjera już nie muszę mówić, że w grę wchodzą tylko godziny wieczorne lub weekendy, wszystko jest jakieś takie prostsze. Na czas zwolnienia miałam naprawdę wspaniałe pomysły. Miałam zamiar gotować wszystkie te czasochłonne potrawy, na gotowanie których do tej pory nie starczało mi godzin po powrocie z pracy. Dom miał wręcz lśnić czystością, przynajmniej do pojawienia się w nim dziecka. Planowałam jeździć na wieś do mamy i odpoczywać w ogrodzie, jak tylko zrobi się naprawdę ciepło no i oczywiście chodzić na basen w tygodniu, w godzinach, w których nie ma tam tysiąca ludzi. To wszystko miało być, ale jak to w życiu bywa, jest zupełnie inaczej.

Pierwszy tydzień po zabiegu przeciekł mi przez palce, nawet nie wiem kiedy. Dokładnie 7 dni po wyjściu ze szpitala jechałam autobusem i zdałam sobie sprawę, że wokół jest pełno zieleni. Jak to możliwe, że wcześniej nie zauważyłam, że na drzewach są już liście? Wiosna przyszła, mimo że dla mnie czas stanął w miejscu. Z drugiej strony dobrze wiedzieć, że świat się nie zatrzymał, teraz tylko trzeba go jakoś dogonić.

W mieszkaniu nastał istny armagedon, naprawdę, syf syfa syfem poganiał. Nie spodziewałam się, że to tak będzie wyglądać. Wprawdzie nie doszłam do etapu leżenia bez kąpieli przez parę dni w łóżku z zasuniętymi roletami, ale daleko nie byłam. W zasadzie to wstawałam rano i nie robiłam nic. Snułam się po domu, czasem odebrałam telefon w wiadomym temacie, coś przegryzłam, do gotowania mi się też za bardzo nie śpieszyło. Krótki spacer z siostrą, wycieczka z D. po okolicznych wioskach, trzygodzinna zawiecha, później prysznic, znowu przychodził wieczór i razem z nim cowieczorny wylew żalu. Jak długo to potrwa? „Daj sobie czas” – w tym zgadzali się wszyscy, rodzina i znajomi.

Ze szpitala wyszłam w środę, zanim się obejrzałam był już wtorek i płakałam w łóżku mówiąc do D., że minął już tydzień. Wtedy wpadłam na pomysł pisania bloga. Nie potrafię tak do końca o tym wszystkim rozmawiać, ale pisać…pisanie to zupełnie co innego. Siadam przed laptopem i zaczynam: „Jestem Ania. Jeszcze niedawno byłam w ciąży, niestety dziecko zmarło we mnie w 9 tygodniu, dowiedziałam się w 12…” No to zaczęłam, piszę. Czytając wpisy przed zamieszczeniem ich na ścianie zdaję sobie sprawę, że to lepsze niż psycholog. Nie zastanawiam się nad tym, co piszę, myśli same przychodzą mi do głowy i układają się w posty. Wszystko od momentu usłyszenia wiadomości o śmierci naszego dziecka wylewa się ze mnie i tworzy naszą historię. Tak, to jest to co czułam naprawdę, tu mogę to wszystko zostawić, to jest mój sposób.

Czy istnieje taka rzecz, którą można polecić kobiecie po stracie dziecka, by poczuła się lepiej? To chyba tak jak ze słowami pocieszenia, które by jej pomogły – nie ma takich słów. Co więc robić? Każda z nas przechodzi przez to indywidualnie, każda musi znaleźć swój sposób. Nie wszyscy będą pisać, nie wszystkim by to pomogło. Moja rada – nie zastanawiaj się nad sposobem, on sam do Ciebie przyjdzie. Jeżeli w trakcie robienia czegoś poczujesz się lepiej, rób to nadal. Może to być codzienne jeżdżenie za miasto i krzyczenie wniebogłosy, może pisanie listów, których nigdy nie wyślesz, rozmowy z zaufanymi przyjaciółmi, tłuczenie talerzy (na allegro można kupić zestawy tanie jak barszcz, służące w zasadzie chyba tylko do ich tłuczenia), spowiedź, śpiewanie, bieganie, boksowanie, cokolwiek sprawia, że jest Ci lepiej. Moje podejście nie musi być zrozumiałe dla wszystkich, ja swoją żałobę przechodzę właśnie tak. Moja tragedia już się wydarzyła i nic tego nie cofnie, tak jak nic nie cofnie Waszych. Masz prawo płakać codziennie nawet przez rok, jeżeli masz potrzebę, możesz też nie płakać w ogóle, Twoja sprawa. Jedno mogę stwierdzić na własnym przykładzie – sposób, jaki sobie znalazłam pomaga mi oddychać, sprawia, że idę do przodu, zaczynam myśleć pozytywnie, mam w sobie chęć i nadzieję. Zrób to samo, znajdź sposób, nie zatrzymuj się, żyj.

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  26. L’UFCM a constaté depuis quelques mois l’accroissement des tromperies à la « roqya ». Les témoignages de personnes victimes de ces pratiques se multiplient et présentent les mêmes caractéristiques : « Une personne vous appelle et vous propose une séance de « roqya » gratuite. Cette personne vous propose de rappeler un numéro prétendu gratuit, souvent un numéro commençant par 0 800… » Mais, dans les faits, cette prestation est loin d’être gratuite, puisque la conversation est facturée à vos frais et à votre insu. Au-delà de l’aspect juridique qui est traité à ce jour par le pôle juridique de l’UFCM[1], ce procédé soulève la problématique de sa conformité au Coran et à la Sunna. En effet, la « roqya » peut se définir comme une thérapie qui permet de soigner les actes de sorcellerie, de mauvais œil et également de se protéger contre ces derniers. Par conséquent, est-il possible de la pratiquer par téléphone et quelles sont les exigences édictées par le Coran et la Sunna ? Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. Il convient enfin de rappeler que la « roqya » est un remède précis et qu’elle ne peut se faire que sous certaines conditions et surtout qu’elle demeure l’exception à la règle, qui est de toujours s’adresser directement à Dieu. Avant de recourir à une « roqya », il convient de faire une introspection sur ses propres pratiques cultuelles et de revenir.

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  213. Hej Wam wszystkim.Zmagam sie tez z tym problemem bylam w 8tygodniu ciazy dowiedzialam sie w poniedzialek ze jestem w ciazy moja Pani ginekolog potwierdzila na drugi dzien badania i wtedy okazalo sie ze poronilam serduszko wogole nie bilo…strasznie to przezylam plakalam nic mi sie nie chcialo…tylko lezalam maz byl przy mnie nie wiem co bym robila bez niego…lekarze przychodzili do mnie widzieli jak to przezywalam pytali sie byli bardzo mili…lekarz moj stwierdzil ze jak chce moze zawolac pania psycholog na taka rozmowe w koncu trzeba z kims porozmawiac…odbylam kilka wizyt z pania psycholog do dzisiaj nie moge sie z tym uporac mam coreczke 6lat ale tez bardzo chciala miec rodzenstwo tak na ta chwile czekalismy a tu taka tragedia…..do dzisiaj tak mam chce mi sie plakac i nic mi sie nie chce trudno mi o tym zapomniec moze cos mi poradzicie…wiem ze mam dla kogo zyc mam coreczke ale tak bardzo chcialam jej dac siostrzyczke albo braciszka a ja nie moge jej tego dac… to straszne przerasta mnie to nie daje sobie rady poradzcie mi cos nie wiem czy zdolam normalnie zyc moze w tedy jak sie nam uda i bede znowu w ciazy…PROSZE O WSPARCIE

    • Mój syn na szczęście nie wiedział że spodziewamy się rodzeństwa dla niego. Mnie pomogła świadomość że pewnie dzidziuś był zbyt chory i lepiej żebym ja cierpiała z powodu jego straty niż on przez całe życie.

    • Przepraszam, że tak z opóźnieniem, ale chwilę mnie nie było. Niestety, takie uczucie bezradności i tego, że aż się zapadasz w pustce po stracie towarzyszyło mi przez jakiś czas po zabiegu. Z czasem było lepiej. Nie ma na to innego lekarstwa, tylko czas. Po paru tygodniach potrafiłam już o tym myśleć w inny sposób, patrzeć z innej perspektywy. Jednak żałobę musiałam przeżyć i na szczęście sobie na to pozwoliłam, bo nieopłakana strata ciążyła by mi jeszcze bardziej. Musisz poczekać, jak Ci źle, może popatrz na swoją córkę i zobacz, jakie masz szczęście, mimo tragedii, która Cię spotkała. To, że masz dziecko nie znaczy oczywiście, że mniej będziesz odczuwać stratę, po prostu dzieci to taka czysta energia, one często sprawiają, że cżłowiek czuje się lepiej

  214. Dziewczyny macie racje,kazda musi to przezyc po swojemu…pierwsza ciaza byla książkowa i mam cudownego Synka:-) niestety 2 kolejne zakonczyly sie w 7 , 8tyg…choc od pierwszego poronienia minely juz 4lata to i tak nie ma dnia kiedy bym nie myslala o aniolkach…ale na szczescie mam dla kogo zyc,kazdego dnia dziekuje Bogu za moj Skarb:-):-) pozdrawiam
    .

  215. Straciłam swoje maleństwo dwa dni temu, a jutro nasza 2 rocznica ślubu. Jest ciężko. Mam cudownego męża, dzięki niemu jakoś funkcjonuję. Płaczemy razem, jego przytulenie koi mój ból. Jest dzielny. Wspiera mnie, mówi o swoim cierpieniu, pozytywnie odnosi się do przyszłości. Nie mogłam lepiej trafić.
    Moje maleństwo był ze mną 9 tygodni. Było mocno kochane, ale okropne krwawienie zmiotło je z powierzchni mojej macicy.
    W szpitalu bardzo o mnie dbali, bardzo. Byli wyrozumiali i troskliwi.
    Chciałabym ciąży znowu, musimy jednak poczekać ok pół roku, Zabieg łyżeczkowania tego wymaga. To dla mnie wieczność, Trudno uwierzyć mi w lepsze jutro, Muszę się ogarnąć, Wracam do pracy za tydzień.
    Nie wiem jak wytrwam, teraz tylko płaczę.
    Nie wiem jak wypełnić tą pustkę.
    Jestem ciągle mamą. Mojego Maleństwa.
    Pozdrawiam, dziękuję, że jesteście

    • Dla mnie najgorszy był pierwszy tydzień, później już jakoś się pozbierałam, z dnia na dzień czułam się lepiej. U mnie minął już ponad miesiąc. Tego nie da się przerobić i od razu stanąć na nogi. Najważniejsze, że masz obok siebie męża, który Cię wspiera. Ja nie wiem, co by zrobiła, gdyby D. nie było przy mnie. Życzę Ci dużo siły. Pozytywny stosunek do przyszłości to teraz najważniejsze, nie można się załamywać. Pozdrawiam, Ania

      • Dziś jest troszkę lepiej. Wiem, że mam dla kogo żyć.
        Mój mąż napisał w nocy list pożegnalny do naszego Maleństwa. Wzruszył mnie tym niesamowicie.
        Dziś zrobię to ja i też się pożegnam. Wierzę, że będzie łatwiej.
        Obiecałam mu, że będę o siebie dbała. Będę.
        Jutro nasza rocznica, piękne małżeństwo… z taką historią. Wierzę, że jest po coś ta historia.
        Mam naprawdę wiele. Wiem o tym. Brakuje mi tylko Maleństwa. Kiedyś wrócą dobre dni. Już wiem.
        Dam radę. Dla cudownego męża warto. Dla siebie, dla naszej przyszłej rodziny.
        Pozdrawiam, Justyna

  216. Witaj
    ja też niechcący dołączyłam do tego klubu. róźnica jest taka ze ja juz miałam trzech zdrowych cudownych synów. co dzień musiałam wstać odstawić starszych do przedszkola, zająć się najmłodszym rocznym. przeżyć kolejny dzień do popołudnia kiedy przyjeżdżała do mnie przyjaciółka. robiłam jej herbatę i kazała siedzieć w kuchni i nic nie robić. pomagało mi to ze była. a wieczorem kiedy wszyscy szli spać szorowania podłogę w kuchni i wylać. przeżyłam. ten rok po stracie Emilki był straszny. ale czas goi rany. naprawdę. po 4 latach jest mi dobrze. Nie boli tak bardzo. w lutym w rocznicę palimy znicze na rodzinnym grobie. jest dobrze smutek jest, pamięć pozostaje… ale mam trzech cudownych chłopców i to jest najważniejsze

    pozdrawiam cieplutko

    • No właśnie, każdy musi to przejść po swojemu. Ja akurat nie chciałam widzieć się z przyjaciółmi przez pewien czas, ale to na szczęście minęło. Pozdrawiam Ciebie i Twoją rodzinę 🙂

  217. wiem jak to jest,przeszłam to samo kilka dni wcześniej niż Ty.Koszmarny dzień kiedy dowiedziałam się,że serduszko nie bije a potem było tylko gorzej.Traumatyczny pobyt w szpitalu,żadnej informacji,rozmowy,wyjaśnienia.potem ta okropna pustka,wciąż zadawane pytanie dlaczego? co zrobiłam zle itp

    • Witam, ja naprawdę miałam w tym wszystkim szczęście, że mój lekarz prowadzący, do którego chodzę prywatnie, miał dyżur w dzień, w który trafiłam do szpitala. Otrzymałam od niego pełną opiekę i wszystkie potrzebne informacje, dokładnie mówił, co mnie czeka, był spokojny. chociaż tyle. mimo wszystko był to najgorszy dzień w moim życiu, jak do tej pory, mimo że różne rzeczy już się działy. Mam nadzieję, że ani u mnie, ani u Ciebie już się coś takiego więcej nie zdarzy.

  218. Aniu, jeż jestem Ania, i tez poroniłam wiosną w 10 tyg 5 lat temu-nie wspomnę ze starałam się długo, znam wszystkie twoje odczucia, nie bede ci dawać porad typu innym się też to przytrafia a potem mają dzieci- choc dzis jestem juz upragnioną mamą dam Ci jedną sprawdzoną radę- przeżyj żałobę po swoim maleństwie- płacz, jak nie masz ochoty nie spotykaj się z ludzmi- udawanie przed nimi nie pomoże Ci. Musisz przeżyć ten ból a nie dusić go w sobie i zorganizuj sobie sama ku ze swoim partnerem pożegnanie swojego maleństwa- ja napisałam list pożegnalny – w rocznicę spalilismy go wierząc zgodnie z chińskimi rytualami ze jego treść wraz z dymem trafila do nieba. To byl mój sposób na poradzenie sobie z bólem- musisz znaleźć swój- uwierz mi to pomoże, być może ten blog jest formą pożegnania i oczyszczenia…. Pozdrawiam

    • Tak właśnie jest, nic na siłę, każdy ma prawo do przeżywania tego na własny sposób. Ja radzę sobie chyba dobrze, tak mi się wydaje. Blog pomaga bardzo, dodatkowo jeszcze zaczęłam biegać, żeby poprawić kondycję organizmu przed kolejną ciążą. Mój sposób to też wiara, że będzie dobrze. Nie mam na nic wpływu, jednak załamanie się to nie wyjście z sytuacji, tylko zostanie w niej na dłużej, co przeszkadza w ruszeniu dalej, przed siebie.
      Pozdrawiam 🙂

  219. Poryczałam się. Nigdy tego nie przeszłam, nie jestem nawet mamą. Niedługo będą trzy lata odkąd zaczęliśmy się starać. Domyślam się tylko co przeszłaś…wirtualnie przytulam!

  220. dziewczynki, którym nadałam piękne imiona. Codziennie się z nimi żegnam idąc spać , wiem, że kiedyś się z nimi spotkam ,lecz nie teraz , bo jeszcze mam coś do zrobienia na tym świecie. Jak nie zwariować po poronieniu….hmmm nie wiem czy jest jakaś złota rada. Po pierwszym żyłam jakby nic nie stało wierzyłam , że to przypadek, po drugim poronieniu już tak nie było , no cóż to chyba nie przypadek. Zakończyło się depresją. Półroczna terapia pozwoliła mi wrócić do normalności , do zauważenia tego, że należy cieszyć się każdym dniem i nie planować niczego. Dziś analizując moje ciężkie przeżycia wiem , że wszystko się po coś dzieje. Znów pojawiła się nadzieja, że może tym razem się uda, musi się udać 🙂 p.s. po wielu badaniach, wizytach u lekarzy , genetyka znaleziono przyczynę poronień (trombofilia) Wiem jakie to ważne , aby znaleźć przyczynę , by móc podjąć kolejną próbę. Dziewczyny jestem z Wami ….

    • Witam, ja postanowiłam na tym etapie nie doszukiwać się przyczyn. Mam szczerą nadzieję, że to mnie już więcej nie spotka, muszę tak zakładać, bo inaczej strach przed zajściem w kolejną ciążę mógłby ją uniemożliwić. Życzę Ci dużo szczęścia i trzymam kciuki 🙂
      ania

    • W szpitalu pielęgniarki miały ogromny problem z pobraniem mi krwi… wkłuwały się po 4-5 razy i za każdym razem mówiły, że krew jest za gęsta. Gdy pytałam lekarzy, czy gęsta krew może mieć wpływ na rozwój ciąży, mówili, że nie (tzn. jedna doktorka powiedziała, że może mieć wpływ, ale mimo to nie dali mi żadnego leku). Od poronienia minęło już ponad pół roku i coraz częściej czytam, że gęsta krew to bardzo zły objaw w czasie ciąży… Kto wie, może u mnie właśnie to spowodowało poronienie…

  221. Przypadkiem trafiłam na tego bloga. Również jestem jedną z Was. Dwa poronienia w 2013 roku (7 tydzień). Za każdym razem na pierwszej wizycie dowiaduję się ,że Naszemu maleństwu nie bije serduszko. Mimo,że dziś już jestem gotowa na kolejną próbę to czytając Wasze komentarze łzy ciekną mi po policzkach. Nie wiem jakiej płci były moje maleństwa , ale dla mnie to są

  222. Aniu ja też jestem jedną na trzy chociaż muszę powiedzieć że razy trzy wiem co przeszłaś ja mam 3 aniołki . Ale trzeba myśleć pozytywnie .

  223. Sześć:-* najważniejsze tak mi się wydaje to pozwolić sobie na żałobę płakać leżeć wyć tyle ile potrzeba… Każda jest inna… A mamą to się zostaje od dwóch kresek na teście! I żadne następne dziecko tego nie zastąpi … Z następną próbą to sama będziesz wiedziała kiedy Twój czas… Jestem mamą dwóch córeczek i z niecierpliwością czekam na Ciebie w tym klubie!! Moja druga ciąża była ciężka i bardzo długa poród w dramatycznych okolicznościach po pół roku stwierdzili że mam depresję poporodową … Kobieta to chyba zawsze ma pod górkę..jak chcesz, potrzebujesz pogadać to pisz e-maila :-*

    • Mam nadzieję, że niedługo dołączę do drugiego klubu, jak już będę gotowa, bez pospiechu 🙂 ale wierzę, że będziemy mieli z D. zdrowe dzieci. Pozdrawiam 🙂

  224. Aniu, tez jestem jedną na trzy, która po 8 miesiącach starań dotrwala jedynie do 6 tygodnia. I tez nie pamiętam pierwszego tygodnia po, właściwie mogłabym nie wstawać z łóżka i nie odsłaniac rolet. W ramach „pocieszenia” również karmiono mnie informacjami, że znajoma znajomej przeszła to samo, a teraz ma zdrowe dzieciaki. Ale ja w to uwierzę chyba dopiero wtedy, gdy szczęśliwie dotrwam 9 miesiecy. Życzę Tobie, sobie i wszystkim marzącym o maluchu dużo sily!

    • Przykro mi. Mnie pocieszają takie przykłady, o kobietach, które przez to przeszły, ale doczekały się w końcu szczęśliwego zakończenia. Trzeba wierzyć, że u nas też tak będzie. Pozdrawiam 🙂

  225. Kochana, Aniu! Też poroniłam pierwszą ciążę w 7-8 tygodniu. BArdzo dobrze Ciebie rozumiem. Też nadchodziły momenty, kiedy myślałam, że zwariuję.
    Ale pewnego dnia zakochałam się w małym szczeniaczku i przygarnęłam go. Nosiłam się z nim jak z dzieckiem. Ale to mi pomogło psychicznie. Uspokoiłam się. Za jakiś czas zaszłam w ciąże i szczęśliwie urodziłam. Spróbuj, powinno pomóc!

    • Witam 🙂 Mamy pieska już od paru lat, od początku traktujemy go ja dziecko 🙂 mi naprawdę pomaga pisanie, no i świadomość, że będzie wszystko dobrze, tak jak u Ciebie 🙂

  226. Bardzo dobrze Cię rozumiem, ja również poroniłam pierwsze dziecko w 13 tygodniu, a od 8-ego tyg. leżałam „plackiem” w szpitalu, miałam krwiaka przykosmówkowego, bardzo to przeżyłam. Nie mogłam długo się pozbierać, za 3 tygodnie od wyjścia ze szpitala miałam wypadek, później straciłam pracę. Ale minęły już dwa lata, w tamtym roku urodziłam upragnionego dzidziusia:) Należy myśleć pozytywnie, Pozdrawiam:)

    • Staram się, jednak jeszcze przychodzą chwile, kiedy jest bardzo ciężko, to jeszcze wszystko u mnie bardzo świeże. Ale blog naprawdę pomaga. Gratuluję dzidziusia 🙂 to kolejne potwierdzenie tego, że trzeba iść dalej, mimo że czasem tak smutno i ciężko

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