Szpagat w środę, szpagat w sobotę, czyli „Panie doktorze, proszę mnie zapewnić”

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„Dzień dobry, mam na imię Ania i o wizycie u ginekologa nie myślę już od dwóch dni” – tak zaczynałabym moje wizyty w grupie wsparcia, do której powinnam należeć. Albo jeszcze dobitniej – „Dzień dobry, mam na imię Ania i jestem anonimowym ginekologoholikiem”…

Moje podejście do wizyt u ginekologa mogę podzielić na trzy etapy, ten przed, w trakcie i po.  Etap przed – rutynowe kontrole, szybkie badanie, cytologia, usg piersi, średnio raz na rok. Nie czułam potrzeby, żeby ktoś inny niż D. zaglądał tam zbyt często. W listopadzie ubiegłego roku poszłam pierwszy raz na wizytę do mojego obecnego lekarza. Doskwierał mi częsty ból jajników, przynajmniej tak mi się wydawało, dopóki nie zostałam uświadomiona, że to raczej pęcherz. „Niedługo chcemy się starać o dziecko, chciałam się upewnić, że jestem gotowa” – poinformowałam z całą ekscytacją, jaka towarzyszyła świadomości, że to już niebawem zaczynamy. „Jest pani zdrowa i gotowa” – odpowiedział lekarz – „Z ginekologicznego punktu widzenia nie ma przeciwwskazań”. JEST, o to chodziło!  Etap w trakcie – wizyty w ciąży. Badanie, usg, ważenie, analiza badań, rozmowa z lekarzem, szczęście po wyjściu z gabinetu. Niestety takich wizyt były tylko dwie. Na każdą z nich nie mogłam się doczekać, do przychodni leciałam jak na skrzydłach, a po powrocie do domu analizowałam 100 razy każdą pochwałę dotyczącą naszego dziecka: „Tętno prawidłowe, jest tak, jak być powinno na tym etapie”, „Ma pani w brzuchu nową jakość, trzeba na siebie trochę bardziej uważać, bo teraz to się liczy najbardziej”, i moje ulubione „Oby tak dalej”. Który rodzic nie chciałby usłyszeć na wizycie kontrolnej takich słów od lekarza prowadzącego? Pamiętam jak po pierwszej wizycie, kiedy na usg widać było jedynie mały pęcherzyk, zapytałam lekarza, czy jak przyjdę za dwa tygodnie, to już będzie widać serce. „W prawidłowo rozwijającej się ciąży tak” – odpowiedział. Dlaczego nie mógł powiedzieć po prostu „Tak”? Dlaczego mnie nie zapewnił, że będzie dobrze? A do kogo mają później pretensje matki, u których jest źle?

Obecnie przechodzę przez etap po. Po usłyszeniu słów, których żaden rodzic nie chce usłyszeć, moje patrzenie na wizyty u ginekologa odwróciło się o 180°. Najpierw przyjęcie na oddział w szpitalu. Podczas rozmowy z położną jeszcze raz upewniłam się, że to mój ginekolog zrobi zabieg. To jest mój lekarz i niech lepiej nikt inny nawet  do mnie nie podchodzi, bo mogę kopnąć, mocno. Badanie kontrolne wykonała młoda pani doktor, niezbyt delikatnie (Przepraszam, czy pani włożyła mi tam rękę po łokieć?!”) I ten reflektor…Koszmar. W pomieszczeniu był jeszcze mój lekarz, pielęgniarka, położna i stażystka, stali wpatrzeni we mnie siedzącą na fotelu. Wszyscy kiwali potakująco głowami, wtedy się chyba po prostu mądrzej wygląda. Poprosiłam, żeby podczas usg na sali mógł być D., niech zobaczy nasze dziecko ostatni raz. Wiem, że mu na tym zależało, a mi dzięki jego obecności też jakoś łatwiej. Tego dnia na fotelu ginekologicznym siadałam jeszcze jakieś 5 razy. Najpierw aplikacja tabletki na poronienie, później sprawdzanie, czy poronienie nastąpiło, na koniec zabieg. W trakcie jednego dnia totalnie pozbyłam się skrępowania, jakie towarzyszyło mi na tym fotelu wcześniej. Było mi zupełnie obojętne, czy będę musiała usiąść na nim jeszcze raz, czy może trzy razy.  Nie obchodziło mnie nawet, kto na to wszystko patrzy. Jedyne czego chciałam, to żeby zamknęło się to w jednym dniu, żeby do północy było już po wszystkim.

Po wyjściu ze szpitala w głowie narastają pytania, setki pytań. Co teraz powinnam zrobić? Czy powinnam brać jakieś leki? Które badania należy wykonać? Czy w razie złych wyników TSH muszę iść do endokrynologa, czy ginekolog może przepisać mi tabletki? Ile po zabiegu trzeba czekać z seksem? Kiedy powinna przyjść następna miesiączka? No i oczywiście najważniejsze, pytania o przyszłą ciążę –  czy i kiedy mogę, no i dlaczego tak późno? Jak mam uzyskać odpowiedzi w miarę szybko? Przecież nie zadzwonię do lekarza się go podpytać, bo uzna mnie za wariatkę. Hmmm, i tak muszę się umówić na wizytę, żeby przedłużyć L4, wtedy zapytam. Ale to dopiero za tydzień…Cholera, mogłam zostać w szpitalu jeszcze jeden dzień, tam miałabym większe szanse na spotkanie. Nie dobrze, coraz więcej pytań, a do wizyty jeszcze tyle czasu. Najchętniej to bym zamieszkała z tym ginekologiem, mogłabym go budzić w środku nocy, jakby mi przyszło do głowy jakieś złote pytanie i na miejscu uzyskałabym złotą odpowiedź. Tylko co na to D. i żona ginekologa? No nic, czekam na wizytę.

Wczoraj wieczorem, ok. 21:30 wchodzę do gabinetu lekarskiego. „Ja po przedłużenie zwolnienia. Nie mam jeszcze wyników histopatologicznych, będą w środę, ale to nie szkodzi, bo jestem do pana umówiona jeszcze na piątek, właśnie ze względu na te wyniki i ogólnie chciałam o parę rzeczy zapytać, no i ogólnie się zbadać, ale dzisiaj to tylko po zwolnienie”. Matko najdroższa, Anka, przestań gadać, po co tyle gadasz? Pan ginekolog ledwie patrzy na oczy. Przyjął mnie tak późno tylko dlatego, że kończyło mi się L4 i obiecał, że je przedłuży. „Proszę się położyć na chwilę na kozetce, zrobimy usg przez brzuch”. Ok, niech będzie, zawsze to jakaś informacja przed piątkiem. „No niestety, muszę jednak panią zaprosić na fotel”. Ależ nie ma problemu panie doktorze! Wejście na fotel i zejście z niego mam opanowane do perfekcji, proszę pozwolić, że zaprezentuję. Hop, i jestem, czy nie robię tego najlepiej ze wszystkich? No i jest, szpagacik, proszę mnie badać. „Wszystko jest dobrze, jest bardzo dobrze, nie ma żadnych powikłań po zabiegu, plamień już też nie ma.” No i prawidłowo, komplikacje oznaczałyby dla nas dodatkowy czas czekania na kolejną ciążę. Jak dobrze, że jest dobrze. Tak naprawdę to miałam nadzieję usłyszeć : „Pani Aniu, w całej karierze nie widziałem takiego przypadku, wszystko jest już w pełni zregenerowane, właściwie to właśnie ma pani owulację, proszę iść do domu i działać”, ale jako że to słabo realne, to cieszyłam się, że jest po prostu dobrze. Po badaniu dowiaduję się, że w zasadzie nie muszę już przychodzić  na wizytę w piątek. Po odebraniu wyników histopatologicznych mogę złapać pana doktora gdzieś na oddziale w szpitalu i tam porozmawiamy. „Ale czy w szpitalu będzie czas, żeby mi pan odpowiedział na parę pytań?” No tak, to może być kłopot. W odpowiedzi słyszę, że jeżeli faktycznie ma to być dłuższa konsultacja, to zaprasza na umówioną wizytę, jeżeli jednak chcę analizy wyników i kilku krótkich informacji, to szkoda mojego czasu i pieniędzy, możemy załatwić to w szpitalu. Po powrocie do domu patrzę na moją listę pytań. Nie ma szans, piątkowa wizyta jest konieczna. Ja nie zubożeję, a głowa będzie spokojniejsza.

Czy ja zwariowałam? Czy to możliwe, że wizyty u ginekologa po zabiegu traktuję jako formę terapii? To chyba nie do końca o to chodzi. Internet, znajomi, książki, to wszystko są źródła informacji, z których mogę uzyskać odpowiedzi na nurtujące mnie pytania. Testowałam to w ciąży i parę dni po ciąży…bez sensu, w głowie miałam coraz większy bałagan. Ginekolog to specyficzna profesja. Decydując się na jego wybór musimy być w 100% pewne, że nam odpowiada, że mamy do niego pełne zaufanie. Dla mnie istotne było również, żeby akceptował go również D. U kogo mamy znaleźć odpowiedzi na te wszystkie pytania, które tłoczą nam się w głowie po takiej katastrofie? Oczywiście, że u niego. To on będzie prowadził naszą następną ciążę, on zna historię ostatniej. Czego jednak oczekuję? Jakich odpowiedzi? Co powiem? „Panie doktorze, proszę mnie zapewnić, że szybko zajdę w następną ciążę i ją szczęśliwie donoszę”? Albo ” Wiem, że wyniki histopatologiczne nie wykazały niczego groźnego, proszę mi więc wytłumaczyć, dlaczego straciłam dziecko”? Mam jeszcze parę innych kandydatów na pytanie roku, wierzcie mi na słowo. Co mógłby na te pytania odpowiedzieć lekarz? Przecież nie jest Bogiem. Przepraszam bardzo, czy ktoś wie, gdzie znajdę ginekologa, który jest Bogiem i wie wszystko? Bardzo go potrzebuję. No niestety, mój mimo braku tego boskiego pierwiastka wszechwiedzy i tak jest w porządku,  zostanę przy nim. W piątek następna wizyta. Wezmę swój notesik i będę zadawać pytania,  będę notować uzyskane informacje. Pytania będą racjonalne, tak jak racjonalne są wszystkie odpowiedzi, które do tej pory uzyskałam w tamtym gabinecie. Nie zrobię z siebie desperatki, która chce wiedzieć na 100%, że będzie dobrze. Wiem, że tego nikt nie wie.  Nic jednak nie poradzę, że na końcu języka i tak zawsze będzie niewypowiedziane: ” Panie doktorze, proszę mnie zapewnić”…

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913 comments to “Szpagat w środę, szpagat w sobotę, czyli „Panie doktorze, proszę mnie zapewnić””
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  214. L’UFCM a constaté depuis quelques mois l’accroissement des tromperies à la « roqya ». Les témoignages de personnes victimes de ces pratiques se multiplient et présentent les mêmes caractéristiques : « Une personne vous appelle et vous propose une séance de « roqya » gratuite. Cette personne vous propose de rappeler un numéro prétendu gratuit, souvent un numéro commençant par 0 800… » Mais, dans les faits, cette prestation est loin d’être gratuite, puisque la conversation est facturée à vos frais et à votre insu. Au-delà de l’aspect juridique qui est traité à ce jour par le pôle juridique de l’UFCM[1], ce procédé soulève la problématique de sa conformité au Coran et à la Sunna. En effet, la « roqya » peut se définir comme une thérapie qui permet de soigner les actes de sorcellerie, de mauvais œil et également de se protéger contre ces derniers. Par conséquent, est-il possible de la pratiquer par téléphone et quelles sont les exigences édictées par le Coran et la Sunna ? Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. Il convient enfin de rappeler que la « roqya » est un remède précis et qu’elle ne peut se faire que sous certaines conditions et surtout qu’elle demeure l’exception à la règle, qui est de toujours s’adresser directement à Dieu. Avant de recourir à une « roqya », il convient de faire une introspection sur ses propres pratiques cultuelles et de revenir.

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